Extreme sports such as sky diving and sking very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
It is claimed that challenging
activities
should be halted as they can be dangerous for people
's lives and lead to death.While
I accept that ceasing them can be an effective way to protect individuals
,I think that this
choice should be left to people
to do these types of activities
or not,as it can restrict their freedom.
There are some who consider that extreme sports
can be risky for people's
Change noun form
people
risky
and they can result in their death.Skydiving, Correct word choice
apply
for example
, requires individuals
to jump out of an aircraft at high altitudes and rely on a parachute to safely land on the ground. The slightest error or miscalculation can result in a tragic accident, leading to serious injuries or even death. Similarly
, skiing at high speeds down steep slopes can lead to collisions with obstacles or other skiers, causing severe injuries.
As for my own opinion,while
I understand the concerns about the dangers of extreme sports
, I do not believe that they should be banned outright. People
are aware of possible consequences of them and they can have a desire for these types of activities
.I believe that there should be strict regulations and safety
standards in place to minimize the risks and ensure the safety
of participants and spectators. Individuals
should be required to undergo thorough training and certification before engaging in extreme sports
, and event organizers should implement strict safety
protocols to prevent accidents and injuries.
Taking everything into account,while
extreme sports
may be risky and dangerous, I do not believe that they should be banned. With proper precautions and safety
measures in place, individuals
should be able to engage in these activities
if they so choose. It is important to strike a balance between allowing individuals
the freedom to pursue their passions while
also
prioritizing their safety
and well-being.Submitted by Name_1234 on
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Task Achievement
Your essay properly addresses the topic and presents a balanced view, although integrating more varied and specific examples could strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance your essay, consider diversifying your sentence structures and using a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas more smoothly.
Task Achievement
Ensuring a clear stance throughout your essay can improve its coherence. While you've maintained a balanced perspective, making your position more prominent could enhance clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
You successfully introduced and concluded your essay with clear arguments in favor and against the banning of extreme sports, demonstrating an understanding of the topic's complexity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay presents logical reasoning to support your viewpoint, aiding the overall coherence and cohesion.
Task Achievement
The use of examples, like skydiving and skiing, to illustrate the dangers associated with extreme sports effectively supports your main points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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