IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays, more and more people no longer read newspapers or watch TV programmes to get news. They get news about the world through the Internet. Is this a positive or negative development?

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The shift from traditional
news
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 platforms like newspapers and television to the
Internet
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 has significantly changed how people access
information
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. In my opinion,
this
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 trend could have both positive and negative consequences. On the positive side, the
Internet
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 offers unparalleled access to a diversity of
news
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 sources, making it easier for people to find
information
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that is
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 not only immediate but
also
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 varied. Users can access international
news
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 outlets, blogs, and even firsthand reports through social media, all at the touch of a button.
This
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 accessibility helps people stay informed about global events almost as they happen, promoting a more connected and informed global citizenry.
Moreover
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, the interactive nature of the
Internet
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 allows individuals to engage with
news
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 through discussions and sharing, potentially leading to a more engaged public.
However
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, there are significant downsides to
this
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 shift. The quality of
news
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 consumed can be compromised on the
Internet
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, where sensationalism and misinformation spread rapidly. Unlike traditional media, which generally adheres to strict journalistic standards, online content is often unregulated, leading to the proliferation of "fake
news
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".
This
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 poses risks of misinformation, which can have serious implications during critical events like elections or public health crises.
Additionally
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, the decline of traditional
news
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 sources like newspapers, which often offer in-depth analysis and fact-checking, means that nuanced understanding may be lost in
favor
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favour
show examples
 of rapid, surface-level
information
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. In conclusion,
while
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 the move to online
news
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 consumption enhances accessibility and immediacy, it
also
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 challenges the accuracy and depth of the
information
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 consumed.
This
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 development,
therefore
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, embodies both significant opportunities and risks that need to be managed with careful consideration.

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Task Achievement
To enhance your argument and potentially increase your score, aim to include more specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and provide more depth to your essay.
Positive Highlights
Maintaining a balanced approach by discussing both positive and negative aspects is commendable and contributes to a comprehensive response to the question.
Positive Highlights
Your essay is well-structured, with clear paragraphs including an introduction, body, and conclusion. This structure aids the reader in following your argument effectively, which is excellent for coherence and cohesion.
Task Achievement
For further improvement, consider connecting your points more explicitly to the question. Clearly linking your argument back to whether the development is positive or negative in each paragraph could make your stance even clearer.
Positive Highlights
Your use of varied sentence structures and vocabulary enhances the readability of your essay, showing a good command of the language.
Content
Discusses both positive and negative aspects, showing a balanced view.
Structure
Well-structured essay with clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
Language
Good use of varied sentence structures and vocabulary.
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