Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, govenments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Many people believe that
government
should keep track of reducing environmental Correct article usage
the government
pollution
and housing problems
in order to prevent pandemics and sickness. This
writer agrees with this
statement because pollution
can cause many health
problems
, and housing problems
can be the primary reason, too.
It can be easily observed that pollution
is the main cause of illness and makes it spread out widely. As humans are placed at the top of the food chain, we consume a variety of food from animals to plants. Water and ground pollution
have recently recognized
as major Add a missing verb
been recognized
problems
because all the human waste and chemical pollutants are pouring out of the ocean and some are absorbed by the earth. As a result
, those fish caught in the ocean could contain poisonous obstacles and also
the plants with impure nutrition underground can lead to many health
issues in terms of digestion. Furthermore
, the polluted air could make people's breathing harder and can lead to some disorders in the lungs.
Looking at another factor is housing problems
, it is also
the main cause of illness and disease. It could be seen that the link
between poor house conditions (Correct article usage
a link
such
as overcrowding, dampness and inadequate heating) and health
issues like asthma, allergies and intersections diseases. Emphasizing the need for government intervention to enforce housing standards and provide affordable, healthy living spaces. For example
, the Black Death occurred due to
the mismanagement of housing blocks which
attached to each other and that made the disease spread more easily.
In conclusion, the role of government in safeguard public Correct pronoun usage
apply
health
through regulations and initiatives that ensure pollution
and provide adequate housing.Submitted by [email protected] on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task with a clear position throughout. To further improve, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and fully expand on this with more detailed examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
You've organized your essay well, presenting a clear introduction and conclusion. Enhance coherence by improving transitions between paragraphs, using a wider range of linking phrases to connect ideas more smoothly.
task achievement
Including more specific examples and data to support your claims could strengthen your essay. When discussing pollution or housing problems, reference studies, statistics, or news reports to add credibility and depth to your arguments.
task achievement
You've effectively addressed the task, showing a clear understanding of the topic and providing a justified position.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay flows logically from introduction to conclusion, making the content easy to follow.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?