Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #illness #disease #governments #focus #pollution

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Disease

Use synonyms

and illness will be prevented if reducing housing issues and environmental

pollution

Use synonyms

are what

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

focus on.

This

Linking Words

writer believes that giving

people

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a stable place to live will reduce their movement and stop the infection,

along with

Linking Words

that

Linking Words

Unnecessary verb

apply

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solving

pollution

Use synonyms

problems will lower the harmful substances in the environment and improve public health. The most considerable point is that if

people

Use synonyms

Change the verb form

are

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given a place to stay, they do not have to wander around anymore and stop the

disease

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to spread

Change preposition

from spreading

show examples

. Since there are

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

interactions between

people

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virus

Fix the agreement mistake

viruses

show examples

and bacteria cannot move to a new host which will

decline

Verb problem

decrease

show examples

the number of

patience

Fix the agreement mistake

patients

show examples

. Eventually,

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

to find the infected area and isolate that place which could be helpful for investing the origin or the factor of the

disease

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so that

solution

Correct article usage

a solution

show examples

can be given.

For instance

Linking Words

, during the

epidemic

Correct your spelling

pandemic

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people

Use synonyms

are locked up in their own

house

Fix the agreement mistake

houses

show examples

so that the virus cannot spread and

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

those who do not have a home,

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

could go to

the

Correct article usage

show examples

temporary shelter to utilize the

controlling

Replace the word

control

show examples

process. Another consideration that must be

point

Wrong verb form

pointed

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out is that reducing

pollution

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

can

show examples

improve

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people

Change noun form

people's

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health. As our surroundings are poisonous, our immune system will be slowly damaged and

then

Linking Words

when we come across a sick person, our body

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

not have the necessary

defense

Change the spelling

defence

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to fight back.

Consequently

Linking Words

, our

body

Fix the agreement mistake

bodies

show examples

become vulnerable and fragile when approach those who are infected.

For example

Linking Words

, drinking contaminated water or inhaling polluted air could damage our organs so

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

we need time to repair these damages which

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

our immune system weaker than ever during

this

Linking Words

period. In conclusion, it is necessary to reduce environmental

pollution

Use synonyms

and housing problems if the aim is to prevent illness and

disease

Use synonyms

Hence

Linking Words

, with these issues

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

solved, the preventing and curing process will be boosted.

Submitted by [email protected] on Mon Apr 22 2024

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Structure

Your introduction and conclusion are well-defined, giving your essay a clear start and finish. Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to maintain clarity throughout.

Cohesion

Try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs. This will improve the flow of your essay.

Supporting Evidence

In your paragraphs, outline your main points more distinctly and support them with specific examples or evidence. While you've provided examples, more detail would strengthen your argument.

Task Response

When addressing the task, ensure all parts of the prompt are fully dealt with. Your essay has a good stance but could delve deeper into contrasting viewpoints for a more balanced approach.

Introduction & Conclusion

Effectively introduced and concluded the essay, framing your argument well.

Clarity of Argument

Presented a clear stance on the topic throughout the essay, maintaining a focused argument.

Use of Examples

Used relevant examples to support your points, adding credibility to your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

306 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

preventive healthcare
environmental regulations
respiratory diseases
public health policies
sanitation facilities
urban planning
communicable diseases
socio-economic factors
sustainable development
government intervention
healthcare infrastructure
industrial emissions
air quality index
affordable housing
mental wellbeing

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Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?

Some people claim that it is acceptable to use animals in medical research for the benefit of human beings, while other people argue that it is wrong. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In some pleces old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. discuss both views and give your opinion.

More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think is a possible solution?

As the number of cars increases, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that drivers should cover the costs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.