Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
It is believed that governments should be aware of pollution and housing
problems
in order to prevent disease. Use synonyms
This
writer agrees with Linking Words
this
statement because Linking Words
this
will improve citizens’ Linking Words
health
and reduce other mental Use synonyms
problems
.
It is vital to understand that environmental Use synonyms
problems
are the main contributors to illnesses. Pollution can have a damaging effect on citizens’ Use synonyms
health
by affecting the air they breathe the food they eat and the water they drink. Use synonyms
As a result
, their Linking Words
health
decline and are prone to illnesses Use synonyms
such
as flu, stomach pain and back pain. Linking Words
For example
, air pollution can affect their lungs, and cause respiratory Linking Words
diseases
. Use synonyms
This
can shorten their lifespan and cannot be able to breathe normally. Citizens have to spend a considerable amount of money to cure the Linking Words
diseases
.
Another consideration is housing Use synonyms
problems
can make inhabitants feel uncomfortable when they are at home. Use synonyms
This
can be a shortage of land or Linking Words
labor
. Change the spelling
labour
This
can lead to stress and anxiety, affect their Linking Words
health
badly and cause Use synonyms
diseases
. Use synonyms
For instance
, a shortage of land means citizens cannot build large homes, which can lead to a lack of space to live. Linking Words
This
may cause inconvenience and discomfort, lead to stress and eventually illness, especially mental Linking Words
problems
Use synonyms
such
as depression and anxiety.
In conclusion, it is important to preserve the environment and solve housing Linking Words
problems
in order to prevent Use synonyms
diseases
. Use synonyms
This
can improve citizens’ Linking Words
health
by enhancing the quality of the air they breathe and the food they eat; the water they drink. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, it can improve mental illnesses Linking Words
such
as stress and anxiety.Linking Words
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Task Achievement
Make sure to directly address the extent to which you agree or disagree throughout the essay for a clearer stance.
Task Achievement
Expand on your examples with more specific real-world scenarios to strengthen your arguments.
Task Achievement
For more balance, consider briefly discussing the opposing viewpoint and why you still maintain your position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to improve flow and readability.
Coherence and Cohesion
Check for minor grammatical errors and make sure each sentence smoothly leads into the next for clearer understanding.
Introduction
Effectively introduced the topic and clearly stated your agreement with the statement.
Main Points
Provided clear main points supporting your argument, which enhances the logical structure of the essay.
Examples
Included examples to support your ideas, although more detail could provide stronger support.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarized the main points and restated your position, providing a clear closure to your argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?