Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think is a positive of negative development

There is no denying the fact that

kids

Use synonyms

spending

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

hours each day on their electronic devices.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss why

this

Linking Words

case provides and consider my opinion about advantages and disadvantages.

To begin

Linking Words

with, there are many cases of people spending time on their smartphones.

Firstly

Linking Words

, generation Z is a modern part of our society and they have different aspects.

In other words

Linking Words

, in the

past

Add a comma

past,

show examples

we had various ways to spend time.

In addition

Linking Words

, technology was not provided yet.

Furthermore

Linking Words

. Technology is something crucial for

kids

Use synonyms

' daily uses, it introduces them

with

Change preposition

show examples

a wide range of knowledge

beside

Replace the word

besides

show examples

the simplicity of using.

For example

Linking Words

,nowadays many schools attend to share the courses

throughout

Change preposition

through

show examples

websites,

Correct word choice

and their

show examples

their

Replace the word

there

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

various games

apps

Correct word choice

and apps

show examples

kids

Use synonyms

spend their leisure time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

playing. Another point to consider, there are many disadvantages

for

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

issue

about

Change preposition

show examples

children losing the ability to communicate with others. it is

also

Linking Words

possible to say that technology is a threat to

kids

Use synonyms

' skills. They will be afraid of facing people in advance and the only way to communicate is by social media platforms.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the most independent

think

Correct your spelling

thing

show examples

is the medical problems most taken into consideration.

For instance

Linking Words

, Back and neck pains and not to forget a weakness in levels of showing. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that parents have a critical responsibility to take care

about

Change preposition

show examples

their children and avoid them

Change preposition

from

show examples

employ

Verb problem

using

show examples

smartphones for long hours.

Additionally

Linking Words

, engage them with more efficient activities

such

Linking Words

as football classes and crossing courses.

zaidamrat5

Apr 23, 2024

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Structure

Try to clearly introduce and conclude your essay. A defined thesis statement in the introduction and a summarizing conclusion can enhance readability and structure.

Supporting Details

Develop your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. Supporting your ideas fully shows a deep understanding of the topic.

Task Response

Maintain a clear focus on the essay prompt. Make sure all parts of the question are answered comprehensively.

Coherence

Improve coherence by using a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas logically.

Grammar and Spelling

Carefully proofread your essay to avoid grammar and spelling errors, enhancing clarity and professional presentation.

Balanced Discussion

Explored both advantages and disadvantages of the topic, giving a balanced view.

Relevance of Examples

Included relevant examples, though more specificity could improve clarity.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think is a positive of negative development

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In many parts of the world, famous people are regarded as role models and they have an increasing influence on the young. Is this a positive or negative development?

the money spent on space research has brought enormous benefits to mankind, but it could be more usefully applied. how far do you agree?

Some people believe that individuals who earn a lot of money are the most successful. Others say that the individuals who contribute to the society (such as scientists or teachers) are the most successful. 🔸Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.