Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think is a positive of negative development

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There is no denying the fact that
kids
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spending
Wrong verb form
spend
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hours each day on their electronic devices.
This
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essay will discuss why
this
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case provides and consider my opinion about advantages and disadvantages.
To begin
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with, there are many cases of people spending time on their smartphones.
Firstly
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, generation Z is a modern part of our society and they have different aspects.
In other words
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, in the
past
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past,
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we had various ways to spend time.
In addition
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, technology was not provided yet.
Furthermore
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. Technology is something crucial for
kids
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' daily uses, it introduces them
with
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to
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a wide range of knowledge
beside
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besides
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the simplicity of using.
For example
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,nowadays many schools attend to share the courses
throughout
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through
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websites,
Correct word choice
and their
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their
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there
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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various games
apps
Correct word choice
and apps
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kids
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spend their leisure time
on
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apply
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playing. Another point to consider, there are many disadvantages
for
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to
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this
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issue
about
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of
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children losing the ability to communicate with others. it is
also
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possible to say that technology is a threat to
kids
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' skills. They will be afraid of facing people in advance and the only way to communicate is by social media platforms.
Moreover
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, the most independent
think
Correct your spelling
thing
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is the medical problems most taken into consideration.
For instance
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, Back and neck pains and not to forget a weakness in levels of showing. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that parents have a critical responsibility to take care
about
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of
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their children and avoid them
to
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from
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employ
Verb problem
using
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smartphones for long hours.
Additionally
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, engage them with more efficient activities
such
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as football classes and crossing courses.
Submitted by zaidamrat5 on

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Supporting Details
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Grammar and Spelling
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Balanced Discussion
Explored both advantages and disadvantages of the topic, giving a balanced view.
Relevance of Examples
Included relevant examples, though more specificity could improve clarity.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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