Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some argue that to prevent illness and disease, governments should prioritize reducing environmental pollution and addressing housing problems. I fully agree with
this
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proposition as both issues can significantly impact public health
due to
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the uncoordinated
accommondation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
distribution and
pollutants
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.
Firstly
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, uncoordinated housing distribution can lead to a host of health problems. When houses are built on land previously occupied by trees or near
water
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sources, it disrupts the natural balance and increases the risk of illnesses.
For instance
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, in Ho Chi Minh City, approximately 30% of residents suffer from illnesses caused by polluted
water
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, extreme heat, and flooding.
This
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is largely attributed to the construction of buildings on vulnerable land or near the Sai Gon River.
Additionally
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,
pollutants
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play a significant role in the spread of diseases. When
pollutants
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are released into the environment, they provide a breeding ground for bacteria and viruses. If these
pollutants
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contaminate
water
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sources, it not only renders the
water
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unusable but
also
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facilitates the spread of diseases.
For example
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, Kenya has faced outbreaks of dangerous viruses like Zeta
due to
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polluted
water
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. The country
also
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suffers from widespread environmental issues, with 58% of its cities experiencing air and
water
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pollution from vehicles and waste disposal. In conclusion, it is imperative for governments to address housing distribution and environmental
pollutants
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to safeguard public health. By tackling these issues, authorities can mitigate the risk of diseases and ensure the well-being of their citizens.
Therefore
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,
this
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essay has demonstrated the importance of government intervention in addressing these pressing concerns.
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task achievement
Ensure that all parts of the prompt are fully addressed. While you've clearly discussed how environmental pollution and housing issues impact health, a brief counterargument could strengthen the discussion.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is well-structured, consider adding transitional phrases to enhance the flow between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, nicely framing your argument.
task achievement
You've included relevant and specific examples that help illustrate your points effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Environmental pollution
  • Public health
  • Respiratory diseases
  • Cardiovascular conditions
  • Infectious diseases
  • Mental health problems
  • Government intervention
  • Industrial emissions
  • Clean energy sources
  • Public housing policies
  • Safe and affordable housing
  • Environmental hazards
  • Green public spaces
  • Community well-being
  • Physical inactivity
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