Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some argue that to prevent illness and disease, governments should prioritize reducing environmental pollution and addressing housing problems. I fully agree with
this
proposition as both issues can significantly impact public health
due to
the uncoordinated
accommondation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
distribution and
pollutants
.
Firstly
, uncoordinated housing distribution can lead to a host of health problems. When houses are built on land previously occupied by trees or near
water
sources, it disrupts the natural balance and increases the risk of illnesses.
For instance
, in Ho Chi Minh City, approximately 30% of residents suffer from illnesses caused by polluted
water
, extreme heat, and flooding.
This
is largely attributed to the construction of buildings on vulnerable land or near the Sai Gon River.
Additionally
,
pollutants
play a significant role in the spread of diseases. When
pollutants
are released into the environment, they provide a breeding ground for bacteria and viruses. If these
pollutants
contaminate
water
sources, it not only renders the
water
unusable but
also
facilitates the spread of diseases.
For example
, Kenya has faced outbreaks of dangerous viruses like Zeta
due to
polluted
water
. The country
also
suffers from widespread environmental issues, with 58% of its cities experiencing air and
water
pollution from vehicles and waste disposal. In conclusion, it is imperative for governments to address housing distribution and environmental
pollutants
to safeguard public health. By tackling these issues, authorities can mitigate the risk of diseases and ensure the well-being of their citizens.
Therefore
,
this
essay has demonstrated the importance of government intervention in addressing these pressing concerns.
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task achievement
Ensure that all parts of the prompt are fully addressed. While you've clearly discussed how environmental pollution and housing issues impact health, a brief counterargument could strengthen the discussion.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is well-structured, consider adding transitional phrases to enhance the flow between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, nicely framing your argument.
task achievement
You've included relevant and specific examples that help illustrate your points effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Environmental pollution
  • Public health
  • Respiratory diseases
  • Cardiovascular conditions
  • Infectious diseases
  • Mental health problems
  • Government intervention
  • Industrial emissions
  • Clean energy sources
  • Public housing policies
  • Safe and affordable housing
  • Environmental hazards
  • Green public spaces
  • Community well-being
  • Physical inactivity
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