Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
To avoid health-related issues, governments are advised to take more action on solving environmental and state problems.
This
author believes that with
less pollutants and more organized urbanization can help inhabitants become less likely to suffer from sickness.
It is vital to acknowledge that many kinds of harmful Change preposition
apply
organism
including viruses and Fix the agreement mistake
organisms
fungus
are found in polluted areas. Fix the agreement mistake
fungi
Moreover
, these areas can be seen in every corner of the cities which means people
are always contacting closely to health threatened culprits. Therefore
, it is a must to upgrade the system of disposing of trash, purifying the air, and processing the water sources, while
the local authority can launch campaigns to raise residents' awareness of their daily waste. Additionally
, it will be better to cut off the causes than fight the diseases, for example
, when Ebola dominated in Africa, scientists found that the water there was contaminated, and with that in mind, local people
avoided this
resource leading to the extinction of the epidemic. Hence
, enhancing environmental aspects will affect people
's health in a good way.
Regarding places to live, there is a crisis in this
subject which people
nowadays are struggling to find a house. Thus
people
pay for flats and this
has a detrimental effect on local's daily lives because it causes noise pollution. Furthermore
, this
creates limited space for people
who live here and makes the locals feel stressed. Because of that, land problems should be strictly controlled.
In conclusion, to promote the well-being of the public, governments should create and implement comprehensive policies that prioritize people
's health.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Lexical Resource
Try to expand your essay by incorporating varied lexical resources. Using a range of vocabulary can help express ideas more precisely and make arguments more convincing.
Grammar
Consider diversifying sentence structures to improve readability and engagement. While your essay is coherent, varying sentence structures can enhance the overall flow and make your argument more dynamic.
Development
To strengthen your argument, you might include additional examples or data that further support the linkage between environmental and housing initiatives and public health outcomes.
Structure
You've done an excellent job structuring your essay with a clear introduction, development paragraphs, and a conclusion. This organization enhances the readability and effectiveness of your argument.
Example Use
Good use of examples to support your points, particularly when discussing the impact of environmental pollution on health. This strengthens your argument and makes it more persuasive.
Task Response
You've presented a well-reasoned argument that aligns well with the essay prompt, demonstrating a strong understanding of the task requirements.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?