IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that having a pet helps old people in living a more healthier and enjoyable life. In what ways do old people benefit from having a pet? Do you think there are any problem associated with old people having pet?

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Nowadays, some
people
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 think that having
pets
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 improves elderly
people
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 in living a healthier and enjoyable life.
This
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 essay will discuss the advantages of having a pet and the disadvantages that can happen when old
people
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 raise
pets
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.
To begin
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 with, most
people
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 tend to raise
pets
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 as a child or stay as friends with their children or elderly.
Pets
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 can make older
people
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 more active, energetic, and cheerful during the day by playing with them or feeding them.
For example
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, my house raised one female cat,
hence
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, my grandmother fed them in the morning every day as a routine. Having
pets
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 can make elderly
people
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 more happy and more enjoyable to raise.
Furthermore
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, wool from
pets
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 that can make
people
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 sneeze or some elderly
people
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 that are allergic to their fur can be the problem.
Additionally
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, there could be a few consequences that can occur when we leave our
pets
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 with elderly parents
such
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 as accidents.
For instance
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, news reports that when the owners of a male dog went out and left him with their parents who had a heart issue, at that time, the dogs were hungry and going to bite them.
Moreover
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, an accident can happen at any time,
therefore
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, the owners could teach them properly and raise them in a good environment. In conclusion, having
pets
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 can have a positive effect on elderly
people
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 to build a healthy life to raise them in a
while
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 and it may have several problems depending on how owners treat them.

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task responses
Ensure to provide more relevant examples that clearly illustrate your main points.
task responses
Try to maintain a more formal tone throughout your essay.
coherence cohesion
Always ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that's fully developed with explanations and examples.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between sentences and paragraphs to enhance flow.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction and a conclusion.
task responses
The main points are relevant to the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • companionship
  • cardiovascular health
  • loneliness
  • depression
  • purpose
  • routine
  • physical activity
  • social interaction
  • cognitive benefits
  • sense of security
  • pet owners
  • emotional support
  • fitness
  • problem-solving
  • mental stimulation
What to do next:
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