IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this?

#places #homes #space #countryside #people
In many
places
,
people
 are in dire need of new homes,
however
, the only place to build them is available in the
countryside
.
While
 few persons think it is not a great idea to construct new houses in the
countryside
. I think
this
 is true because if
people
 move to the
countryside
 there will be no land left for farming and
as well as
 for domestic animals. And it
also
 leads towards environmental problems. I discuss my opinion in the following paragraphs.
Due to
 an increase in the population, it is becoming more challenging for human beings to find accommodation in the city because of fewer resources. So,
people
 desperately turning towards the regional
places
 to build new houses.
However
, if the majority of
people
 relocate to these
places
 it will not only have a negative impact on farming but
also
 cause environmental issues. As there will be no place for agriculture and
also
 cutting of the plants which tents towards economic imbalance. To overcome
this
 problem, I think the government should come up will plans to stop individuals from moving to regional
places
such
 as by educating them with proper knowledge. And
also
, provide them with a new living area by transforming houses in the city into apartments. Because of the enormous size of the building, it can accommodate a large number of
people
 in it. In
this
 way, lawmakers can limit beings going to the
countryside
.
To conclude
, in order to save the world, the government should not allow
people
 to develop new homes in regional areas, as it affects land and animals which leads to a negative impact.
Submitted by hassan05.quadri on

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Introduction
Ensure your introduction clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint. This helps set a strong foundation for your essay.
Cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices to link ideas smoothly. While your essay flows, incorporating more complex linkers can enhance coherence.
Supporting Examples
Expand on your main points with specific examples or data to strengthen your arguments. This enhances both task achievement and the persuasive impact of your essay.
Paragraphing
Strive for clearer paragraph division to ensure each idea is explored fully and coherently within its own section.
Opinion Consistency
You have a clear opinion which is consistent throughout the essay, meeting the task response requirement.
Logical Structure
The essay structure is logical, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids understanding.
Vocabulary Range
You use a range of vocabulary to express your ideas, which enriches the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Ecological benefits
  • Biodiversity conservation
  • Carbon sequestration
  • Sustainable development
  • Eco-friendly building materials
  • Green architecture
  • Government policies
  • Urban sprawl
  • Infrastructure
  • Smart planning
  • Agricultural lands
  • Rural areas
  • Population growth
  • Environmental sensitivity
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