IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people argue that space exploration has had more to do with national pride than international effort. To what extent do you agree with this? How do you think space exploration will change in the future?

#people #space #exploration #pride #effort #change #future
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In the modern day, we can't deny the fact that learning about new things is extremely vital, especially on
planets
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 in the solar system.
Therefore
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, a large number of countries around the
world
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 have begun to research and find ways to go to those lands. That's why it has led to lots of conflicting opinions, some of which imply that
space
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 adventures are just a way for nations to show their pride. Meanwhile,
in contrast
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, a group of people suppose that
space
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 projects have a lot to do with joint efforts among countries. From my perspective, I recognize that
space
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 investigation into a great number of lands is not as important as the impact it has had on the
world
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. When we focus on national pride, we easily realize that it is an essential factor because it motivates people to be more determined in deep exploration into
space
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, making that country even more powerful, etc. For starters, everyone always carries a love for their lands,
consequently
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, they will set their sights on investigating places to be able to glorify the nations, leading to success rates in scientific examination programs.
On the contrary
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, in fact, learning about
space
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 and
planets
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 is important for developing the human
world
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, which requires efficient collaboration among nations. It is a problem not just for one country or land, but it is a research topic for the whole
world
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 for the future of the next generation.
Therefore
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, every achievement of successful research on the
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planets
Fix the agreement mistake
planet
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 always brings greater
values
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value
show examples
 than just national pride.
For example
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, Neil Armstrong once said when he walked on the moon “-I believe that every single success of any individual
as well as
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 their country at least contributes to the international effort”.
In addition
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, thanks to achievements, people have had new initiatives to help the
world
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such
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 as using robots to go to the moon
instead
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 of humans to ensure more safety and
also
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 thanks to that, living plans. Many extraterrestrial
planets
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 have begun to be studied. It was a major turning point for the human
world
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 and one of the ways to help solve the population problem. In conclusion, we cannot deny that
space
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 exploration projects make themselves proud, but scientific achievements in the zero-gravity
world
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 have brought benefits and changed new perspectives on the
world
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as well as
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 connecting countries.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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Task Achievement
Develop your arguments with more specific examples. While you have discussed general benefits of space exploration and highlighted the importance of international collaboration, including detailed examples or case studies could strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on creating smoother transitions between your paragraphs. While your essay exhibits a good structure, employing transitional phrases can enhance the flow and coherence between ideas.
Task Achievement
Consider exploring counterarguments or contrasting views more deeply in your essay. This will not only show a comprehensive understanding of the topic but also demonstrate your ability to engage critically with different perspectives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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