Nowadays many countries have very cosmopolitan cities with people from all over the world. How can the government ensure that all these people can live together harmoniously?

There is no gainsaying the fact that varied culture and diversity is seen in different countries around the globe. As
people
travel from
one
country to another for better living, cities observe a lot of different
people
with different lifestyles. Certain praiseworthy steps can be taken by the
government
to maintain peace in these cities. To commence with, the
government
should implement rules that
people
have the right to celebrate their festivals and functions the way they used to celebrate in their countries. In India,
for example
, Diwali is the main festival, celebrated with burning firecrackers at night.
Similarly
, governments of different countries should provide permission to the
people
to celebrate
this
festival by burning firecrackers.
Although
they cause air and noise pollution, giving
one
day of freedom would help
people
to live happily.
Thus
, all
people
should be given equal rights to celebrate their festivals by which they will be treated equally as others and enjoy their lives even in different atmospheres. Another worth considering reason is that facilities provided by the
government
to
people
should be the same for everyone whether it is someone on a student visa or someone who is a citizen.
As a result
, no
one
will be discriminated against . In Canada,
for instance
, health card is provided only to permanent residents or full-time workers, but there is no
such
facility provided to students or tourists. If the
government
provides
this
facility to everyone,
people
would not fight for these facilities.
Hence
, they will live peacefully in
one
country.
To conclude
, even though it is hard to keep everyone together and happy, it all depends on the
government
and what steps they are taking to keep their
people
living peacefully.
Submitted by jaspreet on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures and adding more complexity for a richer, more engaging narrative.
Task Achievement
To enhance task achievement, ensure your examples are detailed, directly linked to the question, and explore the implications of the suggestions.
Task Achievement and Relevant Specific Examples
You provided clear examples from India and Canada to support your points, which made your argument more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Overall, your essay had a logical structure and coherent flow, with a defined introduction and conclusion, supporting your main points effectively.

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  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cosmopolitan
  • inclusive policies
  • cultural exchange
  • integration
  • community centers
  • anti-discrimination
  • awareness campaigns
  • support systems
  • diversity
  • equal opportunities
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