Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #illness #disease #governments #focus #pollution

In contemporary society, the debate over the most effective measures to prevent illness and disease has intensified.

While

I understand why some argue that governmental efforts should primarily target reducing environmental

pollution

and addressing housing

problems

, I believe they should not be the sole focus of governmental action. On the one hand, reducing environmental

pollution

and improving housing conditions can yield significant

health

benefits . Air

pollution

, primarily caused by vehicular emissions and industrial activities, has been linked to respiratory diseases

such

as asthma and lung cancer. By implementing stringent regulations on emissions and investing in cleaner energy sources,

governments

can significantly reduce the prevalence of

such

illnesses.

Similarly

, addressing housing

problems

such

as overcrowded and unsanitary living environments can prevent the spread of infectious diseases like tuberculosis and hepatitis . Initiatives like the Healthy Homes program in New Zealand have successfully reduced instances of

such

illnesses by addressing issues like dampness and

mold

Change the spelling

mould

show examples

in housing.

However

, I argue that solely focusing on environmental

pollution

and housing

problems

may overlook other critical determinants of public

health

. Unhealthy lifestyle

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

such

as poor diet and lack of exercise,

also

contribute significantly to chronic diseases like diabetes and heart conditions.

This

is why

governments

should implement education and intervention programs to promote healthy

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

and empower individuals to make informed choices regarding their

health

Furthermore

, addressing inaccessibility to

healthcare

services is essential for ensuring equitable

health

outcomes. Even if environmental

pollution

is reduced and housing conditions improve, individuals from marginalized communities may still face barriers to accessing

healthcare

due to

financial and geographical constraints . By prioritizing

healthcare

infrastructure expansion and implementing policies that remove financial barriers to

healthcare

access,

governments

can address underlying

health

disparities and promote

overall

public

health

. In conclusion,

while

addressing environmental

pollution

and housing

problems

is absolutely crucial, I contend that

governments

should

also

consider other determinants of public

health

such

as unhealthy lifestyle

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

and

healthcare

accessibility, to adopt a more comprehensive approach towards disease prevention.

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Task Achievement

You articulated a well-rounded argument, blending both sides of the debate. However, ensure that each paragraph thoroughly explores its main points with a balanced depth. This means every claim should be equally supported by evidence or examples, ensuring a consistent detail level across your argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to show contrast, cause-effect relationships, and addition. This will make your argument flow more naturally and improve the readability of your essay.

Task Achievement

For a higher score, focus on integrating a broader variety of specific examples and data to support your main points. While the examples provided are relevant, incorporating statistics, case studies, or findings from reputable sources could make your argument even more convincing.

Coherence & Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively encapsulate the main argument, providing a strong framework for the essay.

Coherence & Cohesion

Main points are well-supported and logically structured, making the argument easy to follow.

Task Achievement

Your response is complete and comprehensive, covering multiple facets of the issue and showing an understanding of the complexity of public health strategies.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

330 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

preventive healthcare
environmental regulations
respiratory diseases
public health policies
sanitation facilities
urban planning
communicable diseases
socio-economic factors
sustainable development
government intervention
healthcare infrastructure
industrial emissions
air quality index
affordable housing
mental wellbeing

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Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Many different countries have most shops and products as the same. Some consider it a positive development, whereas others consider it negative. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some believe that people today have no interest in maintaining the traditional culture of their country. Others believe that it is still important to people that we preserve a traditional way of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Social media has replaced the traditional methods of communication, and people use more and more social media to communicate, and to follow news and events. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than local languages.If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+