Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subject. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give own opinion.
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that some university
students
want to learn about other subjects
in addition
to their main subject
. While
,
others believe it is essential to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.
A commonly held belief is that Remove the comma
apply
students
want
learn something else except their main Add the particle
want to
subjects
. Majority
of universities give opportunities to relax with easier Correct article usage
The majority
subjects
such
as art and physical education. Mixing easy and main subjects
,
prevents Remove the comma
apply
students
from stress. Overstudying can affect on
people in Change preposition
apply
bad
way, so Change the article
a bad
students
should learn other subjects
. Moreover
, learning something else expect general subjects
, will help to expand horizons
and be Correct pronoun usage
my horizons
versatile
person. Add an article
a versatile
For instance
, if in main subjects
they
do not have languages, adding Correct pronoun usage
apply
couple
Correct article usage
a couple
different
languages and learning them, makes you wise and sociable. Knowing more than 2 languagesChange preposition
of different
,
makes you not just Remove the comma
apply
polyglot
or Correct article usage
a polyglot
being
able to contact with variety of nations, it assists you Unnecessary verb
apply
to look
at Change preposition
in looking
situation
from different Add an article
the situation
a situation
angle
. Fix the agreement mistake
angles
Nevertheless
, studying many subjects
has disadvantages, as
being exhausted and lack of time Correct quantifier usage
such as
to
personal life.
Change preposition
for
On the other hand
, some people claim that students
must focus on their main subjects
. In
some occasions , Change preposition
On
students
should learn what they need, and if they want
learn something new, they always can take courses. Add the particle
want to
For example
, they may mention professions like medicine. Medicine students
studies
for 7 years and they have busy Wrong verb form
have studied
schedule
Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
everyday
. If they will have minor Replace the word
every day
subjects
, they will have to stay at university for 8-9 hours, or removing
other major Wrong verb form
remove
subjects
. Doctors must be qualified, and to be master
of Fix the agreement mistake
masters
his
craft, they should study Correct pronoun usage
their
more
their main Correct quantifier usage
apply
subject
. Furthermore
, doctors better be tired from main subjects
rather than from unnecessary subjects
. Due
to
, doctors Correct pronoun usage
to this
saves
many lives and Change the verb form
save
health
Correct article usage
the health
oh
people on their hands.
In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account Correct your spelling
of
i
would agree with Change the capitalization
I
second
opinion. Change the article
the second
Students
must learn their main subject
, to be qualified. Besides
, if they want to learn other
Change the wording
another subject
other subjects
subject
, they can ask for directors to add new subject
or go to courses.Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
Submitted by dnm.best on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea or argument to maintain clarity and coherence in your essay.
language
Consider using a variety of sentence structures and vocabularies to enhance the complexity and richness of your essay.
task achievement
Balance the discussion of both views before presenting your own opinion to make your essay more comprehensive and balanced.
introduction conclusion present
You introduced both views effectively in the introduction, providing a clear basis for the discussion.
supported main points
You included relevant examples to support your arguments, which enhances the persuasive power of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion succinctly summarises the discussion and clearly states your own opinion, effectively rounding off the essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!