Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent to do you agree?

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It is considered by some individuals that, social networking
sites
,
for example
,
Facebook
have had a detrimental
effect
on individual
people
and local communities.
However
, I believe it has a beneficial
effect
on a person but has several drawbacks for societies and local
people
.
To begin
with, many social networking
sites
,
for instance
,
Facebook
, are considered positive in many ways for individuals. Those living in different countries are far away from their families, so it is a good platform to unite them with just one click and reduce the long-distance short. The feeling of homesickness is reduced by
this
modern technology before
this
invention, it was hard to ask their loved ones how life going. It took ages to get a letter and they reply those letters after months. But these days it normalizes life, so networking
sites
like
Facebook
and many other platforms like Instagram, WhatsApp, and Snapchat are the fast-connecting networks in today's world that join
people
from different parts of the world just in seconds.
In addition
, the
effect
of
this
is
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
for society and local communities because
people
are more focused
to make
Change preposition
on making
show examples
friends from around the world. They are more curious to adapt
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
cultures by direct connection with the
people
living
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
. They are forgetting their own culture and languages and trying to copy them.
This
happens because of the involvement of these social websites everyone has access to their news because of social media. The communities are breaking into fragments as they try to talk to one who is not close to them and one who is sitting beside them they are neglecting them.
Hence
the rate of depression, and loneliness is increasing day by day and families are distanced as well.
Therefore
, it has a harmful
effect
on society. In conclusion, social media like
Facebook
has a positive
effect
on the person individually but for society, it is alarming because many stress-related factors are originating just because of
this
. In my opinion ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
can not deny the positive side of these
sites
but it has some drawbacks as well.
Submitted by aimenmalik2021 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure consistency in your views throughout the essay to effectively communicate your stance.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively to structure your essay more clearly.
Task Achievement
Focus on expanding your ideas with more depth and detail, particularly in supporting your arguments with specific examples.
Language
Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and strive for accuracy in your language use.
Content
Your essay effectively discusses both sides of the argument, showing a balanced view.
Structure
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • erosion
  • face-to-face
  • interactions
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • misinformation
  • polarize
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • procrastination
  • productivity
  • social isolation
  • dissemination
  • breeding ground
  • vast amounts
  • personal information
  • mental health
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