Some people think that manufacturers and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging.

It is a popular thought that
manufacturers
, supermarkets and stores have the responsibility to sell
products
that have less packaging
while
others argue that citizens are responsible for buying fewer packaged
products
.
This
essay will discuss both sides and give an opinion that it is the
manufacturers
and sellers that are responsible for the packaging. On the one hand, using packaging can protect the
products
and avoid breaking things even in accidents. Market and producers use packaging
also
to prevent the possibility that someone might accidentally drop the
product
and break it as they wander around the store and
this
is a benefit for both sellers and consumers. Packaging
also
makes
products
look more professional for special events and
also
attracts more customers,
this
will help increase the selling rate of the
products
.
On the other hand
, if a customer
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
they can choose to buy a less packed
product
or
products
that use packing
that is
friendly to the environment, it will be less harmful than the
products
that use nylon and plastic packaging. If consumers always choose less packed
products
then
the seller will notice and soon change the packaging so that the
product
can be bought. But there is one thing
that is
sometimes people can not choose a less packaging
product
if the
product
they need all have many packaging. So it is the
manufacturers
and stores that are responsible for these problems.
Thus
, both the producer and customers have the responsibility for
this
issue, I hold to the belief that the
manufacturers
are the main factors responsible for
this
.
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task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument well, but it would benefit from more specific examples to illustrate your points. Including concrete instances can make your arguments stronger and more persuasive.
task achievement
Be cautious with grammatical mistakes; while minor errors won't significantly affect your score, consistently correct grammar can enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
To improve cohesion, make sure all paragraphs are connected smoothly. Using linking phrases like 'furthermore', 'moreover', and 'however' can help the essay flow better.
coherence cohesion
You've provided a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps the reader follow your argument.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument, which shows a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • excessive packaging
  • plastic waste
  • environmental impact
  • sustainable production
  • consumption
  • eco-friendly lifestyle
  • raise awareness
  • informed choices
  • personal carbon footprint
  • prioritize environmental sustainability
  • reduce packaging waste
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