There is a general increase in anti-social behaviours and lack of respect for others. What are the causes and solutions?
In the modern world, appropriate
behaviours
or right morals are important traits that people
highly respect and always recommend having. However
, recently, there has been a prevalent increase in behaviours
against society. From my perspective, I think this
problem comes from various reasons, and in this
essay, I will discuss those clearly and give my own solutions.
To begin
with, there is one main reason that causes this
trend in the present that mostly comes from the lack of parents
' attention on their children
. This
assumption is based on a lot of evidence proven by scientists all over the world, in which almost 70-80% of bad behaviours
or committed people
also
told that they had a bad childhood and were not taken care of enough by their family. As a result
, those unlucky circumstances will lead them to a lack of education
which actually shapes their anti-social actions in their later life. As a consequence
, those people
are gradually depressed and upset with everyone, and hence
, thinking people
around them are not necessary and sort of disrespecting others.
Besides
, this
group of people
is also
affected by toxic movies or content on the internet
which makes this
issue become worse and common.
To prevent this
problem from growing bigger, there are several solutions to deal with. First and foremost is to raise citizens', especially parents
' awareness of paying attention to their children
to have a better plan for bringing them up. Furthermore
, Education
systems also
needed to invest more and more to give a solution tackling these anti-social behaviours
such
as free education
for poor children
. Additionally
, the government should also
have some policies to regulate content on platforms on the Internet
to make sure that there are no toxic videos or news that harmfully affect people
.
In conclusion, because of the lack of parents'
Change noun form
parents
taking
care and Verb problem
apply
education
, or even harmful platforms on the internet
that directly prompt those anti-social behaviours
and not respect for others to be more prevalent. To address this
issue, we have to immediately raise parents
's awareness of bringing up children
, invest more in education
, and have some policies to control toxic sources on the Internet
.Submitted by nguyenhuyhoa1506 on
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Task Achievement
Make sure your essay directly addresses all parts of the task. Your introduction sets up the discussion well, but linking your solutions more clearly to the causes you've outlined would strengthen your response.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay flows nicely due to a clear logical structure. However, improving the variety of connective words used will enhance the coherence and cohesion.
Task Achievement
Adding more specific examples or data to support your claims will enrich your essay and make your arguments more persuasive.
Introduction
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay presents a clear logical structure, making your arguments easy to follow.
Conclusion
You have concluded your essay well, summarizing your main points effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.