IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

New technologies and ways of buying and selling are transforming the lives of consumers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#technologies #lives #consumers
Nowadays it is observed that the extension of new
technologies
business
 is constantly increasing over current years, and, arguably, the
lives
 of customers have influenced and undergone some
changes
 because of
technology
 and its
business
. It seems to me that with
this
 excessive interest in new
technologies
,
people
’s
lives
 have changed enormously. I will explain about
changes
 that are caused by
technology
 with some examples in
this
 essay. It appears that by the advancement of
technology
 and the extension of its
business
, the
lives
 of users are impressed and transformed differently not as it was before. In the previous era before
technology
 came,
people
 used to hang out with each other and more humanity and devotion were running between them, but for
this
 generation, all has left is about exploring and browsing among new
technologies
 and honestly it seems that
people
 now are more enthusiastic in unreal things
such
 as robots, AI, computers and other related subjects.
Furthermore
, it seems that because of the development of
technologies
 and businesses in broader fields, the need for human labour has decreased. With
this
 progress, both in
technology
 and
business
 which has become widespread all over the World, employment of
people
 in some jobs is surprisingly less than before and it has made a huge alternation in life situations,
for example
, because of the translation ability in new
technologies
, translator’s expertness is useless now and there is no need for them.
Although
 it is true that a part of the population doesn’t have any interest in using
this
technology
 and prefers to live without it despite
this
 group, the majority of
people
 are considered
technology
 users and their
lives
 are dependent on it, so they have all had
changes
 in their life compared to no
technology
 era.
To conclude
, for most
people
, it is necessary to use the new
technology
 because all of their interests and interactions are related to it, so it was calculable that by
this
 advancement of
technology
 and its
business
 of buying and selling, some activities would have some
changes
 over time.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

content
For a higher score, ensure you provide a more balanced argument with both sides of the argument given equal attention.
coherence
To enhance clarity, use a wider range of linking phrases and discourse markers.
examples
Try to give more specific real-world examples to substantiate your points.
introduction
You introduced the topic well and provided a clear thesis statement.
structure
Your essay is well-structured, with a logical flow of ideas.
argumentation
You successfully discussed how technology impacts consumer lives, providing a clear stance on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • transforming
  • consumers
  • buying and selling
  • new technologies
  • revolutionized
  • consumer experience
  • e-commerce
  • convenience
  • range of options
  • mobile payment systems
  • transactions
  • challenges
What to do next:
Look at other essays: