Some feel that governments should prioritize healthcare instead of other important areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A prosperous society comes from a
country
that has good
healthcare
. Some feel
healthcare
should be prioritized over other areas,
such
as
education
or the
economy
. I personally disagree with
this
notion, and I will elaborate on why in
this
essay.
To begin
with, the reason why I disagree is that there are other things no less important than
healthcare
,
for
example
,
education
.
Education
is the main key to the progress of the
country
. A good
education
system will create superior human resources and make a
country
advanced. good quality
education
can
also
be able to support
healthcare
in producing individuals who have knowledge and experience of
health
.
Conversely
, the lower the quality of a
country
's
education
system, the more underdeveloped the
country
will be and so will
healthcare
.
For
example
, Finland is one of the countries with the best
education
system. Another reason why I disagree is that The
economy
is the foundation for a
country
's development. focusing on
health
can overlook the importance of a strong
economy
. A strong
economy
can
also
create jobs, reduce unemployment rates and build the
country
's infrastructure,
for
example
, toll roads.
This
can increase the
country
's income through taxes. continuing to pay attention to the development of the
country
's income, can
also
be allocated funds to facilitate
health
.
For
example
, a
country
that has a stable income allocates funds to buy
health
technology. In conclusion, I disagree with
this
statement because other fields
also
have an important role and should be maintained not only in
healthcare
,
for
example
,
education
and the
economy
. If
this
is done
then
a
country
can develop if all important sectors are given priority without discrimination.
Submitted by bonarpasaribuu on

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Structure and Variety
Though your approach and structure are commendable, varying your sentence structures more could enhance readability and flow.
Lexical Resource
Integrating more complex vocabulary and phrases relevant to the topic could further demonstrate your language proficiency.
Developing Arguments
To enhance your arguments, consider providing more detailed and specific examples from a wider range of sources.
Introduction and Conclusion
Your essay does a good job in introducing and concluding your arguments on why healthcare shouldn't be prioritized over education and economy.
Logical Structure
You have maintained a clear logical progression in your essay which aids in understanding your stance and arguments.
Supporting Examples
The inclusion of examples, such as the reference to Finland's education system, effectively supports your main points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal healthcare
  • preventive medicine
  • public health infrastructure
  • social determinants of health
  • fiscal allocation
  • government expenditure
  • gross domestic product (GDP)
  • life expectancy
  • pandemic preparedness
  • health equity
  • social safety net
  • holistic approach
  • non-communicable diseases
  • cross-sector collaboration
  • socioeconomic status
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