Conducting sports events such as Olympics or World cup encourage people to live healthy. While some people indicate that there are various other methods to remain healthy. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A considerable amount of

people

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claim that organising

sports

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events helps

people

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to stay healthy.

Whereas

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, some have opined that other ways are advisable to keep

people

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healthy.

According to

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me, to remain healthy, other strategies are more important

such

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as many awareness programs being established these days.

People

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who think that

sports

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have the main role in influencing the public towards a healthy life, which most of them consider the

sports

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person as their role model. That means they follow and replicate whatever sportsmen or women do.

For example

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, to win these kinds of games, a lot of physical activity and an accurate diet are required.

people

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who are fans of their star will observe and follow exactly to them.

Therefore

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,the Olympic games and the World Cup contribute to the mass to stay healthy.

On the other hand

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, there are other ways

such

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as awareness programs and teaching

people

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which help to stay fit. The Government organize many programmes through social media, posters and sending medical teams from street to street which the

people

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can apply in their lives and stay away from diseases.

For instance

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, many non-communicable conditions can be preventable by recognition

such

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as Hypertension, Cardiac diseases and Diabetes Mellitus.

Thus

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, by

such

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methods,

people

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can save their lives from health issues. In conclusion,

although

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sports

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events or

sports

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stars have the biggest part in remaining healthy, authorities can distribute the knowledge door to door which is beneficial for every individual who is not watching or interested in

sports

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May 2, 2024

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Task Achievement

Your essay effectively discusses both viewpoints and your stance, but for an even stronger response, try to delve deeper into each argument with more detailed examples and a nuanced analysis.

Coherence & Cohesion

To enhance the logical flow of ideas, consider using a wider variety of transition phrases between sentences and paragraphs, which can help guide the reader more smoothly through your arguments.

Coherence & Cohesion

It would be beneficial to introduce a brief summary of opposing views in your conclusion to reinforce the comprehensiveness of your discussion before stating your final opinion.

Introduction

You effectively introduced the topic and presented a clear thesis statement outlining your essay.

Logical Structure

Your essay maintains a clear structure with well-defined paragraphs for each viewpoint and your opinion, helping readability and comprehension.

Supported Main Points

You provided relevant examples to support your arguments, such as the impact of sports figures on public health and government awareness programs.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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‘Tourism is always a force for good which enables people of different countries to understand each other.’ To what extent do you agree with this idea? You should give reasons for your answer, and include ideas and examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Social media has replaced the traditional methods of communication, and people use more and more social media to communicate, and to follow news and events. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Many companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think this is good for the world of sports, while others think there are disadvantages of this. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.