IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this

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It is often argued in a few countries young individuals are motivated to gain experience or travel for a
year
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 before starting a
university
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degree
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.
This
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 essay will discuss both pros and cons for young people who plan to do it. To commence with, young people will receive practical knowledge from
internship
Fix the agreement mistake
internships
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 and jobs, which they would like to pursue in their
university
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degree
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. To explain , a
student
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 who works as an intern for a
year
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 as
electrician
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an electrician
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 will have more detailed practical knowledge before starting the electrical
degree
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 at
university
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.
For instance
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, a headline in BBC ( British Broadcasting Corporation) revealed that a young
student
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 who does internships before starting their
degree
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 at
university
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, tend to become more successful in their career.
As a result
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, it is proved that working after high school is much more beneficial for the
students
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.
Furthermore
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,
student
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lose
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loses
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 interest in their study, when they taste the flavour of money from their job.
In other words
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, young
students
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 who work for one
year
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 after high school,
tend
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tend to
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 lose interest in studying because they start spending time and money on materialistic things. As an illustration, some studies reveal that young people are easily attracted by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern materialistic things
such
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 as clothes, watches and phones, so if they have money in their pocket they will start spending rather than focusing on their studies.
Hence
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, it is an indisputable fact that
students
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 start to lose interest
by
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in
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 working one
year
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 after high school.
To conclude
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,
although
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, working before starting a
university
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degree
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 has some contribution and should be considered as the criteria to assess yet, I believe that a
student
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 must start to work before pursuing a
university
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degree
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 because it enhances the practical skills of the
students
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, which amplifies the
overall
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 growth in future.

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Specific Examples
To improve your score, aim to integrate more specific examples to fully support your points. While general statements are useful, the addition of detailed examples strengthens the argument and provides clearer insights.
Balanced Discussion
Ensure a balance between the advantages and disadvantages discussed to provide a more comprehensive analysis of the topic. This will enrich your essay by showing a deeper understanding of the subject matter.
Introduction
Your essay effectively introduces the topic and provides a clear thesis statement, setting a solid foundation for the discussion.
Logical Structure
You have done well to maintain a logical flow of ideas throughout your essay. This makes your argument easy to follow and understand.
Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces your stance, an essential feature of a well-rounded essay.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
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