IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some individuals believe that professionals should
work
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 in the
country
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 where they received their training.
However
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, others argue that they should have the freedom to choose where they want to
work
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. Many people are able to seek employment abroad, even if it means leaving their
home
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country
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. If opportunities in their own
country
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 are limited, they may decide to
work
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 in different countries.
For instance
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, not every nation has large corporations capable of offering numerous job placements.
Additionally
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,
this
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 can be an effective solution to deal with unemployment. Ultimately, individuals can gain valuable experience and knowledge at a growing company, which they can
then
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 bring back
home
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 to help improve their own
country
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.
On the other hand
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, governments should strive to provide young professionals with job opportunities within their own countries. It would benefit society to have a substantial number of workers who can support one another.
This
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 is particularly true for doctors, who are essential during emergencies. If everyone chooses to
work
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 in developing countries,
then
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 who will be there to save lives at
home
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?
This
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 concern applies to all professionals who aspire to contribute positively and support the development of their own nation. From my perspective, every individual should have the right to choose the path they wish to follow, whether that involves staying in their
home
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country
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 with family and friends or taking a risk to seek opportunities abroad and gain international experience. Ultimately, society and the government should not restrict people's choices if they cannot provide an environment that fosters personal and professional growth.

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structure
Add a clearer plan in the intro and restate your view in the conclusion. Use simple signposts to guide the reader.
content
Balance points with more specific examples and explain why they matter. Avoid repeating ideas.
language
Check grammar and keep sentences short to avoid mistakes.
task response
Clear stance and coverage of both views.
coherence
Good use of linking words to show flow.
grammar
Mostly correct grammar and punctuation.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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