IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments .Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are they any alternatives?

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Many people discuss about testing on
animals
Use synonyms
 can be harmful and they suggest government should be strict policies about
this
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in contrast
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 other groups think that
this
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 experiment is highly essential because in
this
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 way they can make a development. It is commonly believed that experimentation on species will be very effective especially for scientific
research
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however
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 the bad effects should be considered and should find harmless solutions.
To begin
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 with, it can be seen that much
research
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 is based on animal testing , especially before the improvement of technology.
Moreover
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, scientists mostly used mice to clarify their experiments
for instance
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 a lot of psychological experiments for attachment style were based on testing mice in history and they found fundamental discoveries.So,
it is clear that
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this
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 kind of
research
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 will be highly beneficial for science.
However
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, many brands use
animals
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 in just beauty industry and sometimes they can test on
animals
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 alive so
this
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 should be outlawed
for
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this
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 reason people should find other solutions.
For example
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, especially for beauty companies should provide vegan products and people may protest animal testing and be encouraged to use these things.
In addition
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, nowadays AI is very commonly used in many areas so scientists
also
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 may use
this
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 technology to predict unknown variables and artificial intelligence can find other historical
research
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 and
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
find the best option. In conclusion, many companies still test on
animals
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 and
also
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 in science a lot of experiments are done with
animals
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 so there are some solutions to decrease
this
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 kind of testing. I strongly believe that animal testing will be minimised in the future.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider organizing your essay with a clearer separation between paragraphs to enhance readability and structure.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to introduce more varied linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and make your argument flow more naturally.
Task Achievement
Support your main points with more detailed examples or evidence. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
Task Achievement
In your introduction, clearly state your viewpoint on the topic to give your essay a strong direction from the beginning.
Task Achievement
Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your position, providing a clear closure to your essay.
Task Achievement
You've provided a balanced perspective by discussing both sides of the argument, which is good for task response.
Task Achievement
Your essay includes relevant references to scientific research and the beauty industry, which supports your arguments.
Task Achievement
Your effort to suggest alternatives to animal testing shows a good understanding of the essay topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear attempt to structure the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific breakthroughs
  • ethical concerns
  • alternatives
  • animal testing
  • moral implications
  • ethical considerations
  • vivisection
  • research methods
  • ethical dilemmas
  • animal welfare
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