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Nowadays, a lot of people are able to do their work from home. Discuss both the advantage and disadvantages of this develpment.

#people #work #home #advantage #develpment
New
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The new
A new
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 generation is seeking for business which not have to enter the office. working from
home
 is done by many
individual
Change to a plural noun
individuals
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. Both of these contrasting
view
Change to a plural noun
views
show examples
 will be
disscussed
Correct your spelling
discussed
 in
this
 essay.
Firstly
, the most obvious benefit of working from
home
 is less expenditure regarding the company because using technology to connect workers together
such
 as video conference through online applications has an important influence on reducing costs of the organization.
In addition
, working from
home
 requires less time and expenses spent commuting to
work
. To illustrate
further
,
employee
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the employee
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 is no longer responsible for facing
with
Change preposition
apply
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the heavy
a heavy
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heavy
Change the adjective
heavily
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 congested problem
due to
 their everyday crowded public transportation which will affect them to
having
Wrong verb form
have
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 anxiety.
On the contrary
, employers might find it extremely difficult for their staff to
remain
Verb problem
maintain
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
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 similar amount of efficiency when it comes to doing their
work
 from their accommodation.
for example
, most workers
give
Verb problem
pay
show examples
 less attention to
efficiency
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the efficiency
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 of
work
 because they are not simulated by their boss, affecting not enough quality
work
 .
Additionally
, it is the responsibility of
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the employee
show examples
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
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 to pay higher money for equipment, allowing them to have
higher
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a higher
show examples
 quality of
work
,
otherwise
, they will lack convenience in working.
To conclude
, working from
home
 have advantage and drawback which is using technology to connect workers together or
work
 efficiency decreases.
Submitted by amittawin on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a general response to the question, but it needs to be more developed in regards to task achievement. Particularly, your essay should provide a more complete response covering all aspects of the prompt in a balanced way. The advantages and disadvantages mentioned could be elaborated more thoroughly to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic. Furthermore, you should include more relevant and specific examples that effectively support the points you are making.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is somewhat unclear and could be improved. Consider using clear and concise topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to introduce the main idea. Create better cohesion by linking ideas between sentences and paragraphs, using connecting words such as 'however', 'moreover', or 'therefore'. Refrain from starting sentences with 'but' as it is informal and can disrupt the flow of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • telecommuting
  • productivity
  • flexible schedule
  • isolation
  • commute
  • work-life balance
  • distractions
  • virtual meetings
  • ergonomic
  • self-discipline
  • collaboration
  • remote work
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