In the past when students want to pursue suniversity degree they prefer their own country, however these days the trend has completly chaged. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
In previous years, most pupils
were prefer
to study Change the verb form
preferred
their
university abroad Change preposition
at their
instead
of their
own country, but nowadays it has totally changed. Change preposition
in their
While
there are some drawbacks to this
trend, I consider that they are not as important as its benefits.
There are 2 significant pros of choosing universities which are in
overseas. Change preposition
apply
Firstly
, a lot of teenagers can be limited from their social activites
by Correct your spelling
activities
thier
parents Correct your spelling
their
such
as hanging out with their friends. When they go overseas to get a university degree, they might feel more freely
because they don't need to get any permission from anybody to do something. Change the word
free
For instance
, students who are not studying in their own country might want to stay their
friends' house or invite them to come over. They can arrange new plans without anybody's thought, and it can lead them to be Change preposition
at their
freedom
in life.
Replace the word
free
As a result
, studying abroad can affect people to be more free.
Secondly
, our society wants to explore new knowledges
through their overseas trips. Most students may think that they can learn new cultures or different Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
while
they are studying. In the meantime, they can invest in their individual skills by having different opportunities from governments or some companies, so
Correct word choice
apply
it
can encourage people to study in different countries. Correct pronoun usage
which
For example
, students who are from Turkey might not have so much change
to find a quality job Correct your spelling
chance
due to
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
citiziens
number. Correct your spelling
citizens
Therefore
, they can prefer studying in the UK, and at the same time, it can help them to gain new informations
about the UK culture. For that reason, studying Change the wording
information
pieces of information
in
overseas can provide pupils Change preposition
apply
to obtain
new Verb problem
with
knowledges
and better job quality.
In Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
conslusion
, choosing overseas to study Correct your spelling
conclusion
university
has been becoming increasingly common Change preposition
at university
in
these days. From my perspective, its advantages Change preposition
apply
outweights
the disadvantages. It can help society to have better life conditions and it can Correct your spelling
outweighs
outweigh
also
affect on
their Change preposition
apply
individal
freedom in their life.Correct your spelling
individual
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Grammar and Spelling
Be cautious with grammar and spelling errors as they can hinder the clarity of your arguments. Review common grammatical structures and practice using them correctly.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence, aim for a smoother linkage between your ideas. Utilizing a wider range of linking words can aid in achieving this.
Developing Examples
Consider expanding on your examples with more detail. While your examples are relevant, providing deeper insights could strengthen your arguments.
Task Response
You have clearly identified advantages and related them back to the question, showing good understanding of the task.
Coherence
Your essay maintains a logical structure, which helps in conveying your points effectively.
Structure
Introduction and conclusion are well-presented, effectively framing your argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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