"prevention is better than cure". Research and treating is too costly. so it would be better to invest in preventive measure. To what extend do you agree.

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this

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modern world, people tend to give more focus to their health. In fact, after the pandemic, research shows that people eating healthy foods and taking preventive immunizations have significantly increased in the

last

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decade.

This

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positive trend indicates that

prevention

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is better than

cure

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Conversely

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, if individuals neglect their preventive measures, after the onset of the disease, they may face expensive medical treatments for

cure

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Thus

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, to be on the safer side,

prevention

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is better than

cure

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and I have the following reasons to support my stance.

Firstly

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, in the world we

livein

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live in

, chronic diseases like diabetes and cardiovascular disorders are on the rise. These

illness

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illnesses

show examples

can be easily averted by having an active lifestyle by following regular exercises, frequent health checkups and reducing fast food intake.

On the other hand

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, if an individual couldn't spend 60 minutes a day to take care of their body, they would need to spend a significant chunk of their salary on expensive medications later.

Secondly

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, as we learnt from the recent pandemic, vaccination is the best way to prevent outbreaks in society. In human history, vaccines played a key role in preventing outbreaks like Malaria, Influenza & Measles in the past. In fact, taking a vaccine is very cost-effective compared to the medical expenses after the onset of the disease.

Additionally

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, when the community is healthy, people will be less absent

Change preposition

from

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their work, which in turn contributes positively to the productivity of the economy.

Conversely

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, productivity takes a nose dive when the population is ill.

This

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outlines the significance of

prevention

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than

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rather than

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cure

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. So

to conclude

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, I support the stance that

prevention

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is better than

cure

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, as it is both the economical and

also

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the best option for us.

However

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, not all the diseases can be prevented. There are certain

illness

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illnesses

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like Type-1 Diabetes, Cancer etc, which are still an enigma to the doctors. Till now, we don't have any conclusive reasons, why these diseases occur in the first place and expensive treatments are the only solution at the moment.

Hence

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, disease

prevention

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is good, but

in addition

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to that, we should

also

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have a balanced approach to healthcare moving forward.

Submitted by nusramkumar on Sun May 05 2024

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Structure

Ensure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that signals the content to follow. This enhances readability and focus.

Cohesion

Try to use a wider range of cohesive devices and transitional phrases to link ideas more smoothly.

Supporting Evidence

Include more detailed examples and evidence to support your arguments. While the provided examples are relevant, further specificity could enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.

Language

Occasionally, review the grammatical structures and vocabulary used to express your ideas. Exploring more complex and varied sentence structures can improve the sophistication of your writing.

Introduction/Conclusion

You effectively introduced and concluded your essay, neatly bookending your arguments.

Position

You maintained a clear stance throughout the essay, effectively arguing that prevention is better than cure.

Structure

Your essay was well-structured, with each paragraph dedicated to a specific point in support of your thesis. This logical structure aids in the coherence of your argument.

13
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

361 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

chronic diseases
cardiovascular
preventive measures
regular exercise
healthy diet
mental health check-ups
stress management
community support
vaccines
public health campaigns
outbreaks
influenza
measles
COVID-19
economic benefits
absenteeism
productivity
healthcare systems
balanced approach

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Some people think that parents should tell stories or read to their children. However, others believe that these days this isn’t necessary as children have so many other sources for stories, such as books, films and TV. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.