IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Although more and more people read news on the Internet, newspapers will remain the most important source of news. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #news #internet #newspapers #source
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
Even though
 the number of
people
 who get the
news
 online
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 increasing,
newspapers
 will continue to be the most significant source of information.
This
 essay disagrees with
this
 statement
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because reading
news
 on electronic devices is more convenient and it’s not environmentally beneficial to make
newspapers
. First of all, reading
news
 online is way more convenient than reading them on paper. Nowadays, literally every person has electronic gadgets like smartphones, laptops etc, where they can access the latest
news
 with one click.
For example
, popular
news
 outlets like The New York Times, Washington Post and Financial Times are all available online for just around 5 dollars per month. It means that
people
 can read
news
 anywhere at any time without being forced to look for the closest newspaper shack. At the same time, producing
newspapers
 is not efficient from an ecological standpoint. Production of
newspapers
 requires a lot of paper, which in turn requires a lot of trees. It means that we would be cutting down more trees just to make enough
newspapers
 for
people
. Cutting down trees can lead to major ecological consequences
such
 as destruction of biodiversity, deforestation and climate change. That’s why a lot of
news
 agencies have chosen not to use papers and
instead
 moved fully online. Some examples of
such
 corporations are The Guardian, BBC and Wall Street Journal.
People
 can still read
news
 and stay up to date. In conclusion, I completely disagree that electronic
news
 sources will be obsolete in the future
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because reading
news
 online is more comfortable and doesn’t harm the environment.
Submitted by moon2014angel on

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task achievement
To further strengthen your essay, you might consider addressing potential counterarguments. For instance, some individuals still prefer physical newspapers due to tradition, sensory experience, or accessibility issues, and discussing these points could enrich your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay flows well overall, but ensure smooth transitions between points to maintain a unified narrative. For example, introducing linking phrases like 'Moreover' or 'In addition' at the beginning of paragraphs could enhance cohesion.
task achievement
You provided a clear stance on the issue and supported it with relevant, specific examples. Your argument that online news is more convenient and environmentally friendly is well-articulated.
coherence cohesion
Both your introduction and conclusion clearly state your position, making your essay easy to follow. This contributes significantly to your coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • reliable
  • credible
  • focused
  • immersive
  • tangibility
  • tradition
  • access
  • digital devices
  • demographics
  • older generation
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