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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Robots are taking all jobs all around the world. Do you agree or disagree?

#robots #jobs #world
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Nowadays, artificial intelligent
robots
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 are gradually replacing
people
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 in the workplace.
Although
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 it is assumed that most of it will be taken by
robots
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, few jobs that require human touch cannot be replaced. In my point of view , I believe that some work will be done by
people
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. On one hand, more recently, scientists at the University of Oxford conducted a study that proved that in the foreseeable future,
robots
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 will replace
people
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 in at least ten professions.
This
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 will happen first in the service sector. And
this
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 is not surprising! After all, a robot is a machine, and a machine will not be rude to the client, it will do everything accurately and on time, clearly and correctly. After all, now we prefer to deal with an ATM and a terminal and not stand in long lines at various cash desks. There are restaurants, and there are more and more of them, where
robots
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 do the work of waiters. Even a creative industry like journalism can add
robots
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 to its workforce. They are the ones who will formulate news reports. There are
robots
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 creating new medicines. These
robots
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 are replacing pharmacists. Their efficiency and accuracy are much higher than those of humans.
Therefore
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, pharmacists will very soon be replaced by
robots
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. There are more and more cars driven by
robots
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.
Such
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 self-driving cars do not require a driver, and
this
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 profession will eventually disappear.
On the other hand
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, there are several jobs that artificial intelligence cannot cope with,
for example
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,teaching or consultation with a psychologist. In a similar way, when a person experiences mental health problems,
such
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 as depression or anxiety ,
then
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 it requires human understanding, and the human therapist can provide support or an example of their life experience. If we talk about coaching,
then
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 during tutoring, if a student is struggling to understand a topic,
then
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 the teacher can help, because
people
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 have the skills to communicate with students.
To sum up
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, no doubt technology brings comfort in human life but there should be some limitations to using it that are compulsory for them, and It is important to know and recognize the value of human skills and experience in these important roles.
Submitted by kooper507 on

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Grammar & Style
Try to ensure a consistent use of tenses throughout your essay to maintain clarity and cohesion in your argument.
Vocabulary Expansion
Consider enriching your essay with a wider range of vocabulary related to the topic. This can make your argument more compelling and engaging.
Conclusion Development
Make sure to fully develop your conclusion by summarizing your main points and clearly stating your position. This strengthens your argument and leaves a lasting impression on the reader.
Content
You effectively provided specific examples to support your claims, enhancing the strength of your argument.
Structure
Your essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which aids in reader understanding.
Argument Balance
You demonstrated a good balance of discussing both sides of the issue, which is essential for a balanced argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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