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Band 7

More and more people want to buy famous brand of clothes and cars. What are the reasons? Do you think a positive or negative development?

#people #brand #clothes #cars #development
Today it is a common belief that there are certain addictions to
brands
, vehicles etc.I firmly believe that it is totally true that individuals have a tendency to buy well-known
brands
 and cars.My essay will elaborate on
this
 in the following paragraphs. In the first place, every human being since their childhood wants something special for themselves,which is understandable because of the tendency of time. Nowadays it is a time of the internet and social networks,where everybody compares themselves with everybody, about results,money,clothes etc.
For instance
, there is an application named Instagram,where you can show your results and wealth, which can be an issue for youngsters because of being surrounded by successful people without knowing about their hard work, consistency and dedication. When it comes to negative development which can be arduous not only for children,
moreover
 it might have a negative effect on the mental health of adults.
For example
, there are so many people with mental health problems because of comprising about results,money,
brands
 etc,which would be started in 21 century with social networks
such
 as Facebook, TikTok Telegram etc.
In addition
, human beings always had a sense of desire for new things,which started from the beginning of time, and
then
 reached the peak of desire for
brands
 in recent years because of social networks. It may be concluded from the essay that there are so many people with addiction to
brands
 and clothes, which can have a negative effect on us in future because of
this
 kind of development and progression
Submitted by kassymov_99 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure all paragraphs start with a clear topic sentence to guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing a more structured paragraph organization to enhance the logical flow of ideas. Consider using more explicit connective words and phrases to help connect ideas and arguments.
task achievement
Strive to provide more specific examples that directly support your arguments. This could involve citing studies, statistics, or more detailed scenarios that illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points of the essay and clearly state your position on the issue. Try to reinforce your argument without introducing new information.
task achievement
Remember to directly address all parts of the task in your response. It's important to discuss the reasons why people buy famous brands, as well as express and support your opinion on whether this is a positive or negative development.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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