Some people think children should have mobile phones, others disagree. Discuss both sides and give opinion.

#people #children #phones

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Many people assume

kids

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should have technology equipment

such

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as mobile

phones

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, Others argue

this

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view. I strongly believe that when

kids

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own mobile

phones

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, it brings advantages namely to help them to complete their educational matters.

However

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, it

also

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potentially gives a downside, without any control and awareness

children

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will fall into negative things that influence their personal growth. On one hand, permitting

children

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to have their own mobile phone, will be helpful for their educational matters. Nowadays, there are a lot of schools which associated with technology in their learning activities. Willing or not, it leads

kids

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to use technology tools in order to finish their tasks.

For example

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, students at school often finish their assignments on a particular online platform

such

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as Quiziz, sometimes teacher asks students to send their work results through WhatsApp. Mobile

phones

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also

Linking Words

be put on to accept additional information from teachers through the Learning Management System. It caused parents to be able to coordinate with teachers about

kids

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' learning track records through Learning Management System Websites.

On the other hand

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however

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, without any control from parents,

kids

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potentially will fall into negative things that affect their personal growth. The mobile phone provides several applications for

kids

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to explore much information on the internet.

Then

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kids

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have high natural curiosity which makes them access inappropriate content.

For example

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, on

Instagram

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Instagram,

show examples

there are many inappropriate images uploaded by someone, and if

children

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see them, they will imitate them in real life.

Moreover

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, spending too much time on mobile

phones

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Remove the comma

apply

show examples

will decrease

children

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's social abilities.

Children

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tend to watch their

phones

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because they think it is more interesting than others. Parents have to create wise policies to reduce their

kids

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' time on mobile

phones

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For example

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, allowing

children

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only for 1-2 hours to use their own mobile

phones

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, and direct them to do other activities that become the main priority. In Conclusion, giving permission to

children

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have their own mobile phone has advantages

such

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as it can help

children

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complete their educational matters at school.

However

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, it

also

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has a downside, if they have no control over adults, they will accept the all of information on the internet without any filters and it will influence their personal growth.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Sun Dec 24 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure a logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. While the overall structure is adequate, deeper elaboration and clearer transition between supporting points will improve coherence.

coherence cohesion

Introduce each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and develop paragraphs with focused and relevant supporting points. Aim for better paragraphing and solid argumentation without distractions from the main topic.

task achievement

The essay addresses the task, providing both sides of the argument as well as a personal opinion, which is good. However, develop your arguments more thoroughly and provide more detailed examples to support your points.

task achievement

Balance the development of both views thoroughly so that there is an even exploration of the topic and a logical flow that leads to your conclusion. Clarify your opinion more explicitly and consistently throughout the essay.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

373 words

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Some people think children should have mobile phones, others disagree. Discuss both sides and give opinion.

You have been selected for a training course on computer skills that you cannot attend. WRITE A LETTER TO YOUR EMPLOYER AND SAY Explain how this training course would help you Why won't you be able to attend it Suggest a way to have that training again

You are organizing a conference for your company. Write a letter to a colleague asking him/her to give a presentation during the conference. -Describe what this conference is about -Why you want him/her to give a presentation -Give details about the conference

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

The graph below shoes the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a Europian country between 1987 and 2007.

Nowadays, experience is more valued in the workplace than knowledge in many countries. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.