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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart represents the source of fish import to Canada and the table shows the total value in Billions of Dollars.

The pie chart represents the source of fish import to Canada and the table shows the total value in Billions of Dollars.
#source #fish #import #canada #value #billions #dollars
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The given infographics are three pie charts and a table which illustrates sources from where
fishes
Fix the agreement mistake
fish
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 were imported to Canada in three different years and how much
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the
Correct your spelling
they
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 cost. The unit quantified is in
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, China was the major contributor in two years and the year 2020 was the most profitable one.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it is quite evident from the given pie graph that on adding the data from all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
three years together, China holds up a significant amount of portion which is 117% (24% in 2010, 49% in 2015 and 2020). Closely followed by
this
Linking Words
 are various other sources which contribute their share of around 112% to Canada
whereas
Linking Words
 Norway has the least percentage share a sixth in 2010, almost a quarter in 2015 and
lastly
Linking Words
, 30% in 2020.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, from the
table
Add a comma
table,
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it is clear that
Linking Words
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
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 of import was the lowest
that is
Linking Words
 8.66
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2010
while
Linking Words
 it was highest in the year 2020 which
ws
Correct your spelling
was
 16.52
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 whilst in the year 2015 the value was
at
Change preposition
apply
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16.52
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by chelsipurohit.12 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words billion, dollars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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