Some people say that what children watch on television influences their behavior, while others say the amount of time children spend watching television influences their behavior. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays,

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is an important part of

children

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and they spend a great deal of

time

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watching its

programs

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. Some people claim that the

content

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programs

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influences

children

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's behaviour the most.

Nevertheless

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, another group of people oppose them and imply that the duration of watching

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is more determinative. In

this

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essay, I will examine both perspectives and at

last

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, I will express my opinion. In past,

children

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used to play a lot of games together.

However

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, with the advent of

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, they spend a lot of

time

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watching several

programs

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. People who think the duration is more important believe that devoting a lot of

time

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programs

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hinders their activities and makes

children

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more introverted. In the long run, it can cause numerous mental and physical disorders.

For example

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, scientific research has proved that obesity in

children

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is one of the consequences of sitting for long hours in front of a

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even the lack of enough interaction with others can bring about depression.

However

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, despite the opinion of the above group, the other group recognizes the

content

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programs

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as the main influential motivator of

children

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's deeds. They easily are influenced by characters or heroes watching

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and they will try to imitate their actions. These role models can wreak havoc in their lives.

Furthermore

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, the values induced by

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may affect other training and education that are taught by their parents and educators.

For instance

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, if a child find one as their idol, they believe what that idol says or does.

To conclude

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the aforementioned material,

Although

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both the amount of

time

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and the

content

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programs

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are mediating how

children

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behave, I must admit that the

content

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programs

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can outweigh the duration and parents should meticulously investigate what their kids watch on

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TUTOO

May 7, 2024

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supporting arguments

Try to provide specific examples to back up your arguments. While your essay mentions scientific research regarding the impact of TV watching on obesity, incorporating a specific study or statistic could enhance the argument.

sentence structure

Consider varying your sentence structures to add complexity and fluency to your writing. While your essay is well-structured, the use of more complex sentences could enhance readability and interest.

grammar

Be mindful of slight grammatical inaccuracies and ensure that the subject-verb agreement is consistent throughout the essay.

tone

Ensure to maintain a formal tone throughout your essay. Avoid colloquial expressions or overly general statements that might undermine the formality of the academic writing.

task response

You have effectively discussed both views in a balanced manner, demonstrating an understanding of the task requirements.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay is well-organized, with clear paragraphs for each view and a logical flow of ideas.

conclusion

The conclusion succinctly summarizes the essay's main points and provides a reasoned opinion, which is commendable.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

306 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyle
content quality
social skills
behavioral impact
role models
parental guidance
screen time
educational programs
observational learning
antisocial behavior
moral values
imitation
physical health
social interaction
academic performance

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