The charts below show what students in high school want to become when they grow up.

The two graphs show the high school

students

Use synonyms

’ future

jobs

Use synonyms

that they want to become. The information is organized by gender. One noticeable factor is that

doctor

Fix the agreement mistake

doctors

show examples

and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

athlete

Fix the agreement mistake

athletes

show examples

are the most famous

jobs

Use synonyms

among male

students

Use synonyms

. Those figures are 32% and 21%, respectively. These are followed by

dentist

Correct article usage

a dentist

show examples

, lawyer, professor, and teacher in a row.

In contrast

Linking Words

, only 8%

female

Change preposition

of female

show examples

students

Use synonyms

reported

doctor

Fix the agreement mistake

doctors

show examples

and 5% for

athlete

Fix the agreement mistake

athletes

show examples

. Unlike

men

Use synonyms

women

Use synonyms

wanted to become

teacher

Fix the agreement mistake

teachers

show examples

and

professor more

Fix the agreement mistake

professors

show examples

at higher rates than

men

Use synonyms

. Those

percentage

Fix the agreement mistake

percentages

show examples

totaled 38%

while

Linking Words

only

total

Correct article usage

a total

show examples

Change preposition

of 15

show examples

Use synonyms

men

Change preposition

of men

show examples

reported them. In

addtion

Correct your spelling

addition

, the number of

lawyer

Change to a plural noun

lawyers

show examples

accounted for

notable

Correct article usage

a notable

show examples

amount, with a figure of 21%. Meanwhile, both

gender

Fix the agreement mistake

genders

show examples

showed considerable

interests

Fix the agreement mistake

interest

show examples

in becoming a dentist. 17%

Use synonyms

men

Change preposition

of men

show examples

and 23%

Use synonyms

women

Change preposition

of women

show examples

reported it.

Additionally

Linking Words

over

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the majority of

students

Use synonyms

answered

this

Linking Words

question among

provided

Correct article usage

the provided

show examples

categories. Only

few

Change the article

a few

show examples

students

Use synonyms

showed other options in

men

Use synonyms

and

women

Use synonyms

(3% and 5%, respectively).

Overall

Linking Words

, the charts clearly demonstrate the striking differences in

students

Use synonyms

’s preference of

futre

Correct your spelling

future

jobs

Use synonyms

between male and female

students

Use synonyms

Men

Use synonyms

want to be a doctor and

Fix the agreement mistake

athletes

show examples

athlete

Fix the agreement mistake

athletes

show examples

the most

while

Linking Words

women

Use synonyms

are more interested in educational

jobs

Use synonyms

(teacher and

Correct your spelling

professor

professr

Correct your spelling

professor

) and

Fix the agreement mistake

lawyers

show examples

lawyer

Fix the agreement mistake

lawyers

show examples

jb22809467

May 8, 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words jobs, students, men, women with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 3 times.

▼

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

193 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

career aspirations
profession
societal values
technological advancements
gig economy
remote work
climate change
extracurricular activities
guidance counseling
discrepancies
hypothetical scenario
navigating
influence
popularity
speculation

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The charts below show what students in high school want to become when they grow up.

Some people believe that online reading materials should only be used for a child to learn to read, whereas others believe only printed material should be used. Discuss both views and give your opinion. 40 mins

In some countries, governments are encouraging businesses and industries to move to regional areas outside big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads.

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new fast trains between cities. others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people prefer to buy local commodities, while other think that world wide products have a better quality. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.