Although family is a powerful influence on child's life, it is also influenced from outside the home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There are common beliefs

such

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mostof

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most of

the impact on youth's life is taken from family

while

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others think that there is

also

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a significant influence from beyond the home. I completely agree with

this

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statement.

Firstly

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, the education system is an essential contributor to the kid's way of life. As a part of the educational organisations' schools and kindergartens have their own programs to create particular knowledge, behaviours and skills in the pupils.

Furthermore

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besides

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spending a great amount of

time

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in school youngsters

also

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have given a number of home tasks that keep them busy during the rest of the day.

For example

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, my nephew studied in the middle school. Before we almost every day keep in touch with each other and spent

time

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together, but now

due to

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his density of study curriculum he even cannot find

time

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to talk with his parents. Sometimes it seems like he does not want to speak at all.

Secondly

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, the social environment is another important factor that has an influence on young people's lives. The neighbourhood in which kids live , the people that they contact and the friends that they play and interact with on a daily basis can determine the way in which they live. On top of that, there is

also

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multimedia that has another gradually growing impact on kids' behaviour. Everyone can admit that social media with strong influencers has already taken over even adult audiences and it's a matter of

time

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before they come to children.

For instance

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, the school where I work currently, cannot be proud of its pupils' behaviours, because smoking is widespread among the students. To my mind,

this

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condition appeared directly mimicked

from

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local grown-ups and social media. In conclusion,

although

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the family can control the child's behaviour, it cannot be the main factor in determining how the children live. There are literacy system and surroundings which has a powerful impact on the kids.

Teo Halimov

May 9, 2024

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Specific Examples

Clarify and elaborate on your main points with more specific examples. Doing so will strengthen your argument and enhance the essay's persuasiveness.

Sentence Structure

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Addressing the Prompt

Make sure to directly address the prompt in your introduction and conclusion to anchor your essay's argument clearly.

Introduction & Conclusion

The essay provided a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument.

Use of Examples

The use of examples, such as the impact of schools and social media, effectively supports your main points.

Logical Structure

Your essay exhibits a logical structure, making it easy to follow your reasoning.

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12
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

323 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

upbringing
norms
emotional support
peer groups
social development
identity formation
intellectual growth
value system
perceptions
worldview
cultural assimilation
societal expectations
extracurricular activities
self-esteem
negative influences
well-rounded
external factors

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Although family is a powerful influence on child's life, it is also influenced from outside the home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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