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Band 8

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives
Nowadays, the issue of taking
risks
 has grown in importance in
people
’s careers and personal lives. I believe the advantages corresponding to taking
risks
 are more considerable than the minor disadvantages. On the one hand, a potential disadvantage of
this
 issue may be that
people
 will get horrified and feel unsafe about the new situation that they have not experienced yet.
For instance
, if
people
 take the
risk
 of quitting their unfavourable jobs to develop their own business and reach a higher salary, at
first,
they will be scared of their decision.
However
, it cannot be unreasonable because as we know it is called
risk
 and we cannot be sure that all of our steps are going to lead us to great accomplishments. Another perceived negative is that
risks
 can sometimes cause worse situations than
people
 already have,
therefore
,
people
 should be careful about every step that they take.
On the other hand
, a primary advantage of taking
risks
 is that
people
 can achieve their unimaginable dreams and feel real freedom by taking a tiny but reasonable
risk
.
For example
, if
people
 who receive financial support from their parents, take a
risk
 and follow their actual dreams it is more likely to fulfil what they always used to see only in their dreams.
Moreover
, if
people
 who have difficulties in their relationship, decide to take the right step and quit their unhealthy relationship, they will definitely feel more happiness than ever. On balance, it is true that taking
risks
 would seem disadvantageous under certain circumstances.
However
, in my view, its positive effects override the disadvantages.
Submitted by amirahmadi9301 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on strengthening the logical flow of ideas to ensure a smooth transition between points.
task achievement
Although the response is overall complete, some points can be expanded further for even greater clarity and depth.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the context for the discussion.
task achievement
You have provided relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively wraps up the essay and restates your main viewpoint.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
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