IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that we learn best through in-person interaction with a teacher in a classroom. Others believe that online learning is more effective. Discuss both views and give your won opinion.

#people #interaction #teacher #classroom
It is generally believed by some that the best way of learning is an in-person
interaction
 class with a teacher in a classroom. And others claim that
students
 can learn effectively through online
classes
.
While
 online
classes
 have the advantage of hurry-free attending
classes
, personally I am of the opinion that direct teacher-student
interaction
classes
 have a huge effectiveness on the
students
' understanding.
To begin
 with,
due to
 the advances in technology these
days
Add a comma
days,
show examples
 people are rush-free to attend
classes
 through online courses. As we know, Technology
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 a crucial role in everyone's life. It demonstrated one of the ways to learn things online. It removed the stress on
students
 to attend
classes
.
For example
, people do not need to get ready to attend the lecture. But people still face some problems
while
 attending online lectures like Network issues, distractions,
power
Correct word choice
and power
show examples
 cuts.
However
 I believe,
online
Add an article
the online
show examples
 learning process can become very effective in the near future with the help of fully-developed Artificial Intelligence.
On the other hand
, the Traditional way of teaching is the most suitable for many learning
students
. In person-to-person
interaction
classrooms
Add a comma
classrooms,
show examples
 learners have the advantage of raising a hand for an unsolved doubt. These
classes
 will provide profound knowledge to the knowledge seekers. By
this
students
 can adopt qualities like public speaking, leadership qualities and many more.
Therefore
, I believe that direct teacher-student
interaction
 lectures not only improve the understanding of the subject it
also
 help build good qualities. In conclusion,
although
 online
classes
 are easy to attend,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that in-person
interaction
 lectures have much effect on
students
 understanding.
Submitted by eeretimaheshsritej on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Language Use
Aim for more varied and complex sentence structures to enhance the sophistication of your writing. While your sentences are clear, increased complexity could add depth.
Lexical Resource
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to the topic of education and technology to convey your ideas more precisely and engagingly.
Supporting Examples
Provide more concrete examples to support your claims. Real-life examples or statistics could strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
Task Response
Your essay effectively discusses both views on the topic, offering a balanced examination before stating your own opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Good use of paragraphs to separate ideas and arguments, making your essay easy to follow.
Structure
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion which aligned well with the topic and summarized your viewpoints.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • immediate feedback
  • retention of information
  • sense of community
  • social and communication skills
  • controlled learning environment
  • flexibility in scheduling
  • online resources and tools
  • cater to different learning styles
  • learn at their own pace
  • complex subjects
What to do next:
Look at other essays: