IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

It is said that it is a good idea to have three or four generations living under one roof. What’s your opinion? Use your specific reasons and examples to support your idea. You should write about 250 words.

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It is claimed that sharing a home with several generations is a terrific suggestion.
While
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 the opinion has caused a lot of controversies, I approve of the latter view for the following reasons. My first argument is that the differences between each generation's daily routines lead to inconveniences in every family member's life.
For instance
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, the elderly tend to sleep and wake up earlier, whilst the young prefer to work and stay up late.
This
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 may mess up the work schedules and daily activities of every single member of the household, resulting in children's and young adults' sleep debt and lack of relaxing time,
as well as
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 the disruption in the everyday activities of the old.
Moreover
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, many generations dwelling together raises an enormous concern about living space. An extended family needs a major space for the members to have their own comfort zone to lay down after a long day.
However
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, being a part of a big clan would make it difficult for oneself to have one's individual room without having shared it with others.
Furthermore
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, a great number of people imply a wide range of viewpoints, especially when a considerable generation gap appears in the house. Starting from just a small tension,
then
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 slowly building up to a bigger conflict. To be specific,
whereas
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 the elderly cook dinner, their offspring and grandchildren play together and do not help them, they might feel disrespected and unhappy. These small unpleasant feelings may pile up day by day, as they will explode into a substantial dispute.
Nonetheless
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, the members may feel uncomfortable letting out all the problems
due to
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 the large quantities of people and differences of opinion between generations.
To conclude
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, I believe that living in a nuclear family is an excellent selection because of the pleasant feeling and privacy.

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coherence cohesion
Consider avoiding long sentences that might make your points hard to follow. Shorter, clear sentences can enhance understanding.
coherence cohesion
Try to incorporate diverse linking words to better connect ideas and paragraphs, ensuring a smoother flow of information.
task achievement
It's important to directly answer the question. Offering clear arguments for or against the statement strengthens your essay.
task achievement
Using specific, real-life examples can significantly bolster your arguments. Consider adding more detailed examples to support your points.
task achievement
Balance your essay by discussing both sides of the argument, even if you have a strong preference. This creates a more rounded perspective.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion, enhancing task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion clearly outline your main points, contributing to a logical structure.
coherence cohesion
You have effectively used paragraphs to organize different ideas, which aids in the reader's comprehension.
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