IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is important for all towns and cities to have large public spaces such as squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#towns #cities #spaces #squares #parks
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It's widely acknowledged that it is essential for all cities and towns to include a large number of public
places
 and
parks
. Certain
people
 may argue the importance of having
such
places
. In
this
 essay, I will cover both viewpoints, supported with examples and evidence. The benefits of having public entertainment
places
 and
parks
 illustrate the importance of having many
places
 like these in several parts of the
town
. These
places
 allow families and children to enjoy the weather and the outdoor activities in a safe manner, rather than going out to play in the streets.
Moreover
, owners of pets can benefit from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
outdoor
places
 in which they can exercise and release their energy.
Additionally
, research shows that spending
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sufficient time in outdoor
parks
 walking, and cycling is highly recommended as it's considered a cardiovascular activity. Families can spend quality time with their friends and families in a healthy environment.
Furthermore
, group activities can be organized in public spaces,
for example
,
town
 elections and debates, question and answer games, where many
people
 can join to play or enjoy a cup of coffee and have pleasant conversations with other
town
Correct your spelling
townspeople
show examples
people
. In conclusion, I firmly agree with the importance of having outdoor
parks
 and spaces for everyone to enjoy in all cities supported by the number of benefits I mentioned above, as these
places
 allow
people
 to have quality time, improve their mental and physical health, and socialize with other
town
people
 which in return, builds a good community.
Submitted by norahhamad98 on

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Introduction & Thesis
Your introduction successfully outlines the essay’s direction, but consider making your thesis statement more specific by explicitly stating your viewpoint.
Body Paragraphs
Develop your paragraphs further by expanding on each idea with more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments.
Linking Words
To link your ideas more smoothly, vary your transitional phrases beyond the basics of 'Furthermore' and 'Moreover'. Experiment with phrases that indicate cause and effect, contrast, and order of importance for a richer textual flow.
Use of Examples
While you’ve covered the topic comprehensively, enhancing the specificity of your examples would make your argument more compelling. Use real-world examples or hypothetical scenarios to vividly illustrate your points.
Content Balance
You've effectively covered the significance of public spaces in cities, balancing several perspectives throughout the essay.
Essay Structure
Clear essay structure with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Example Usage
Good use of general examples to support your points, indicating a thoughtful approach to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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