IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Excessive traffic has made cities unpleasant places to live and work in. For this reason, private cars should be completely banned from city centers. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The recent pandemic prompted a significant shift in living patterns, with numerous families opting to relocate temporarily to rural areas. Surprisingly, a notable percentage chose to remain in these serene environments even as normalcy began to resume. The primary motivation behind
this
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 decision was the allure of a tranquil rural lifestyle, which starkly contrasts with the hectic urban life exacerbated by overwhelming
traffic
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congestion
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.
This
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 situation raises a pertinent question: should private vehicles be entirely prohibited from
city
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centres
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? Proponents of a ban on private
cars
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 often cite one predominant reason: excessive
traffic
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 renders urban areas unpleasant places to inhabit and conduct business.
This
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 assertion is particularly compelling when we consider that
city
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centres
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 are typically characterized by their compactness and confinement.
Consequently
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, high levels of vehicular activity in these areas lead to chaos and disorder.
Furthermore
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, many
city
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centres
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 are cultural hubs that attract tourists;
however
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, the considerable presence of
traffic
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 detracts from their appeal. It is
also
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 worth noting that urban
centres
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 are typically well-equipped with efficient public transportation systems, suggesting that car owners could easily substitute their private journeys with bus or train travel, thereby alleviating
congestion
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.
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, it is essential to recognize that
city
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centres
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, as the focal points of urban life, host a concentration of vital amenities, including offices, galleries, and retail establishments. The outright prohibition of private
cars
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 could engender significant accessibility challenges, potentially diminishing the vibrancy and livability of these locales.
Moreover
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, it is crucial to acknowledge that private vehicles are not the sole contributors to
traffic
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congestion
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; factors
such
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 as construction activities and suboptimal
traffic
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 light management
also
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 play a significant role in exacerbating the problem. In summary,
while
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 the prohibition of private
cars
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 may alleviate
traffic
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congestion
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 in
city
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centres
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, it is imperative to understand that
this
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 measure may not resolve the issue entirely. Personally, I believe that major urban
centres
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,
such
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 as Paris and London, have successfully implemented restrictions on private vehicle circulation, resulting in notably positive outcomes.
This
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 suggests that
although
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 banning private
cars
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 can be a beneficial component of a broader strategy, it should be part of a comprehensive approach that addresses all underlying factors contributing to
traffic
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congestion
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.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples of how public transport systems may effectively alleviate congestion in the urban context. This would strengthen your argument regarding car alternatives.
coherence and cohesion
While you have a logical structure, ensure that each paragraph clearly links back to the main argument to enhance coherence. A brief sentence that ties back to the thesis at the end of each paragraph can help.
coherence and cohesion
In your conclusion, it might be beneficial to summarize the main points succinctly to reinforce the argument, providing a more definitive stance on the issue.
task achievement
The introduction effectively establishes context and presents the main issue clearly, engaging the reader's interest from the start.
coherence and cohesion
Your use of varied sentence structures and vocabulary showcases a strong command of language, contributing positively to the overall quality of the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Emissions
  • Air pollution
  • Global warming
  • Noise pollution
  • Pedestrian-friendly
  • Public transportation
  • Green spaces
  • Urban residents
  • Enforcing the ban
  • Exceptions
  • Mental well-being
  • Healthier lifestyles
  • Local businesses
  • Tourism
  • Offset the need
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