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Band 3.5

STUDENTS SHOULD PAY FULL COST FOR THEIR OWN STUDY, BECAUSE UNIVERSUTY EDUCATION BENEFITS INDIVIDUALS RATHER THAN SOCIETY TO WHAT EXTENT Do you agree or disasaree

#students #cost #study #universuty #education #individuals #society #disasaree
Some people believe that higher education
bring
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brings
show examples
 more
advabtages
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advantages
advantageous
 for personably than safety.
Therefore
 in their
wowpoint
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viewpoint
wow point
clictent
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clients
 must pay all of
the
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their
show examples
 own
skidy
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skid
sky
. The author of his essay totally
disagree
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disagrees
show examples
 with that. It can be seen that study can help poor people get
opportunity
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the opportunity
an opportunity
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 to change thaw become
more
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apply
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better because of the high salary; it could have reduced the rate of crime in that place and that
also
create
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creates
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
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safety from 5% to 100% for gilled
sturtents
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students
 and poor
sturtends
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students
 -
Nevertheless
, the group of students got scholarships well hard work than
sach
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each
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 and can be more
curress
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current
 and devotion
for
Change preposition
to
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 the society. Another point of view is
the
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that
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 student will focus on the lessons if they don't have to pay for their courses. When somebody
do
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does
show examples
 many things at the same time,
il
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it
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 can make
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 burn out for
long
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a long
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 time and
canno
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cannot
can no
 control what they do
correrlly
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properly
.
Nowdays
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Nowadays
show examples
, almost
studen
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students
 want to earn money soon to not depend on their parents.
That is
 the point
Correct pronoun usage
that make
show examples
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 their score
became
Verb problem
apply
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terrible or fail to graduate from the
univesity
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university
. And when they want to get
full-time
Correct article usage
a full-time
show examples
 Job, the salary must be lover or maybe not enough to pay -for their life. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 some opions that
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 should pay
full
Correct article usage
the full
show examples
 cost for their own study
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because university education
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
benefit
 individuals rather than society that point
actually
Add a missing verb
is actually
show examples
 incorrect because the scholarship, can change our
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
development.
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Grammar and Precision
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Logical Structure
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Vocabulary Expansion
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to more effectively convey your points and demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
Introduction and Conclusion Clarity
Revise the essay to ensure the introduction and conclusion are clearly defined and summarise your viewpoint effectively.
Task Response
You have addressed the topic and attempted to cover both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the task.
Use of Examples
There is an attempt to use examples to support arguments, which is good practice in essay writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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