Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Throughout the years, we have barely seen some species of

animals

Use synonyms

because their existence has been critically threatened

due to

Linking Words

illegal hunting by irresponsible

people

Use synonyms

As a consequence

Linking Words

, they become extinct and eventually vanish from their habitat. To solve

this

Linking Words

problem, the government should enact a clear regulation which contains some strict punishment

Change preposition

for

show examples

those who deliberately hunt endangered

animals

Use synonyms

. A

further

Linking Words

explanation of my opinion will be presented below. First of all, there are some causes which contribute to the extinction of some species of

animals

Use synonyms

. One of them is illegal hunting.

For example

Linking Words

, some

people

Use synonyms

like to shoot

animals

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as elephants and Sumatran tigers, just to

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

their wild desire

of having

Change preposition

to have

show examples

unique decorations in their houses.

However

Linking Words

, the prior cause, in fact, needs intervention from the government by formulating a policy that gives strict punishment to irresponsible humans.

This

Linking Words

enforced law hopefully will create an awareness for the citizens to prevent the endangered species.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, another cause of

animals

Use synonyms

extinction is domesticating them. Sometimes, a certain individual likes to keep them as pets.

This

Linking Words

case occurred in Indonesia in which a public figure had a large area in his house specifically to keep some wild

animals

Use synonyms

, whether they were scarce or not. A subtle approach is needed to address

this

Linking Words

problem.

For instance

Linking Words

, educate

people

Use synonyms

that wild

animals

Use synonyms

are not allowed to bring home as pets.

This

Linking Words

prohibition could be shown in a social media post so that it easily reaches the public. In conclusion, two reasons that contribute to the loss of some

animals

Use synonyms

are illegal hunting and domestication. A binding regulation is truly needed for better conservation

as well as

Linking Words

raising

people

Use synonyms

's concerns to preserve nature.

srsdy008Sat May 11 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure

Your essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This format helps in presenting your ideas cohesively.

Example Usage

You effectively use examples to support your arguments, making your essay informative and persuasive. It's impressive how you incorporate specific instances, like the situation in Indonesia, to illustrate your points.

Linguistic Range

Consider varying your sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance your linguistic range and keep the audience engaged. While your current style is clear, more complex structures could demonstrate greater language proficiency.

Coherence

To further improve coherence, try linking ideas between paragraphs with transitional phrases. This will make your argument flow more naturally and help guide the reader through your essay.

Structure

Structured and organized essay format.

Content

Relevant and specific examples used to support points.

Introduction/Conclusion

Clear introduction and conclusion.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

species extinction
endangered animals
biodiversity
habitat loss
deforestation
urbanization
poaching
illegal wildlife trade
climate change
pollution
conservation efforts
legislation
enforcement
human overpopulation
sustainable development
responsible consumption
education
awareness programs
protected areas
wildlife reserves
international cooperation
collaboration

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
In some countries around the world, there have been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children themselves instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of homeschooling education outweigh the disadvantages?
In various nations globally, a growing number of parents are choosing to homeschool their children rather than enrolling them in traditional schools. Students may feel more comfortable with home-based education, however, this form of education presents also several serious drawbacks to consider before embarking.
7
band
Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There is an ever-increasing demand for learning languages from another country, especially in this globalization era. It is often argued that this issue only matters for selective occasions such as vacations or business matters, whilst others disagree as studying other languages has many objectives and intentions. This essay agrees with the latter opinion, as we should embrace how understanding local words and voices matters to communities.
6
band
The migration of people to cities is one of the biggest problems facing the world's cities today.Disccus the main causes.What solutions could be used to tackle this situation.
People from small towns often move to bigger cities to find a fortune. It is argued that it can be a new trouble for the cities that they migrated to, and the main reason behind that, is they want to get a better life by living in metropolitan cities.
6
band
Nowadays, more and more people have to compete with young people for the same jobs. what problems could this situation cause? what solutions you can suggest?
In today's competitive world, age discrimination is becoming a major problem in society. Younger employees are more likely to be promoted while older employees are overlooked. This is mainly caused by a lack of adaptive behaviour towards advanced technology and age requirements. However, there are a number of solutions such as building teamwork and training programs should be implemented to tackle this issue.
7.5
band
Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working on charity, teaching sport to younger people) To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Young individuals are considered as backbone of society so their participation in community service is essential. It is often argued that the involvement of teenagers in free community services should be an integral part of high school programs. I strongly believe that is a crucial factor which helps them to learn various life skills and develop a sense of humanity.

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

In some countries around the world, there have been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children themselves instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of homeschooling education outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The migration of people to cities is one of the biggest problems facing the world's cities today.Disccus the main causes.What solutions could be used to tackle this situation.

Nowadays, more and more people have to compete with young people for the same jobs. what problems could this situation cause? what solutions you can suggest?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working on charity, teaching sport to younger people) To what extent do you agree or disagree?