IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #technology #people #viewpoints
An argument has arisen between the two groups regarding how modern
technology
 has affected the way
people
 socialize with others. Some say that as the
technology
 gets more advanced, it is easier for them to communicate with others. Meanwhile, part of the society believes that it tears them apart
instead
. I agree with the contention that
technology
 has brought
people
 closer since it eases us to maintain our interaction. A
further
 explanation of my point of view will be presented below. First of all, the notion against modern
technology
 has pointed at the drawbacks that emerge when
people
 use smartphones for too long until they get addicted and forget their surroundings.
This
 is usually experienced by young
people
.
For example
, they are busy playing games on their phones and do not bother to contact their friends unless they need something necessary. If only they can replace the time-consuming they have spent on their phones with contacting their close friends, it will be much better for them.
On the contrary
,
people
 who support modern
technology
 always find that its existence will be very helpful for their socialization, even through online messages.
Technologytechnology
Correct your spelling
Technology technology
 has broadened their networking.
For example
, these
people
 want to arrange a homecoming event for their high school and all they need to do is search their old friends' names on social media to obtain the contacts.
As a result
, just in seconds, they connected again. If they want to meet face to face, it is
also
 easy for them to arrange the schedule through a group chat or video call. In conclusion,
although
 modern
technology
 tends to make
people
 addicted to their gadgets, it remains useful to connect
people
 to stay in contact.
Submitted by srsdy008 on

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Introduction
Expand your introduction by briefly introducing both viewpoints before expressing your own opinion - this will make your essay more balanced and comprehensive from the beginning.
Examples
Use specific, detailed examples to support each point you make. While you've mentioned generic examples (e.g., arranging a homecoming event via social media), adding more depth could strengthen your argument.
Language use
Be cautious of repeating words or phrases unnecessarily; synonyms or paraphrasing can help maintain interest and showcase your vocabulary range.
Tone
Avoid informal language or incomplete sentences in academic writing - strive for clarity and formality throughout your essay.
Task Response
Your essay successfully discusses both sides of the argument before stating a clear personal viewpoint, which is excellent for task achievement.
Structure
You've structured your essay with clear paragraphs and a logical flow of ideas, which aids in coherence and cohesion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fostering
  • Global connections
  • Isolation
  • Diminished
  • Face-to-face interactions
  • Cultural and geographical divides
  • Paradox
  • Social media
  • Alienating
  • Family dynamics
  • Echo chambers
  • Polarize
  • Marginalized communities
  • Inclusivity
  • Maintaining relationships
  • Evolution of communication
  • Instant messaging
  • Video calls
  • Technological advances
  • Collaboration
  • Remote isolation
What to do next:
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