IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that university education should be free for everyone. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #university #education
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Many
people
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 believe that when
students
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 study in the
university
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, they should not pay any money. In my opinion, I agree with
this
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 view because
this
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 can help
students
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 continue their
education
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 and
also
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, many
people
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 in the
country
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 will be educated.
Firstly
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, when
university
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education
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 is free,
students
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 can join the
university
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 easily.
In other words
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, in some countries,
students
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 have to pay a lot of money to study in the
university
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. If they come from a poor family, some of them choose to stop studying and start working at a very young age to help their parents.
For example
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, in India, many universities are expensive, so children from poor families usually stop studying at the age of 17 years old.
As a result
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,
this
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 will affect their future because they cannot find a great job, and they will continue being poor.
Secondly
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, when
university
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education
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 is free, the number of educated
people
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 in the
country
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 will increase. Simply put, there will be many doctors, engineers and teachers in the
country
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.
For instance
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, in Germany,
education
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 is free, so there are many doctors, engineers and teachers in the
country
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, and these
people
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 will help the
country
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 to develop because they can use their skills to help others around them.
Therefore
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, when
education
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 is free, the
country
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 can develop fast and its economy will improve greatly as well.
To sum up
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, I once again reaffirm my position that
university
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education
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 should be free for everyone.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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style
To further improve, consider varying your sentence structures to add complexity and rhythm to your writing.
vocabulary
Include a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely.
structure
Ensure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea.
introduction
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion.
examples
You've used relevant examples effectively to support your arguments.
conclusion
Your conclusion succinctly reaffirms your position, providing a satisfying closure to the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • university education
  • higher pay
  • sweated and sacrificed
  • higher education
  • time, effort, and financial investment
  • specialized knowledge and skills
  • job prospects
  • economic contributions
  • valuable contributions
  • fairness and equality
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