Nowadays many people go shopping in their free time. Shopping has replaced many other activities that people used to choose as their hobby. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development?
Go shopping has become more and more common for
people
nowadays. For many people
, it is considered a hobby
. In my opnion
, it can lead to bad consequences. Correct your spelling
opinion
This
essay will discuss some reasons for this
phenomenon and the negative consequences that it can lead us.
Change preposition
to.
Regard
to the reasons for Change preposition
With regard
this
, it could be thought the increase in advertising and the fast growth and development of shopping centres. Firstly
, the higher use of smartphones and the evolution of social media are leading us to see high levels of ads every day. For example
, it is common to look at Instagram for hours a day, and it contains a lot of advertisements. Thus
, humans are being stimulated to consume and buy new things more and more. Secondly
, shopping centres have become more comfortable and with a lot of facilities currently, for instance
, there are some places where parents can let their kids play while
they go shopping at the mall. Consequently
, it became more easy an funny to go shopping at the mall.
In spite of this
, using shopping as a hobby
can be very negative, because you can spend a lot of money and generate more garbage. Moreover
, replacing other activities with shopping can be very unhealthy, because there are no benefits for health on shopping. For example
, you could do a sport or read a book instead
of buying new things. So using shopping as a hobby
can be considered a negative development.
To sum up
, the reasons for more and more people
shopping as a hobby
can be the growing levels of advertisement and the evolving of shopping centres and malls, and this
might lead to bad consequences for people
.Submitted by danielejaegger on
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structure
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coherence
Improve logical structure by using more cohesive devices and transition words to connect points and ideas more naturally throughout the essay.
development
Expand and elaborate on the main points with more specific and varied examples. This will enhance the development of ideas and support for your arguments.
task response
Address both parts of the prompt fully. While you have provided reasons for the trend, the discussion on whether it's positive or negative could be more balanced and detailed.
grammar
Check for and correct grammatical errors and typos to increase the overall readability and professionalism of your essay. This includes using appropriate verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation.
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