The space exploration is too expensive and money should be spent on more important things.To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

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It is believed that the money spent on
space
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research is waste and should be used for other purposes. Personally,
this
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writer believes that research on
space
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can bring later achievements and should be maintained. First of all,
space
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research helps people to satisfy their curiosity about the world and develop their knowledge.
This
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is because from a thousand years ago, the community always looked at the sky with little knowledge and asked a lot of questions about the mysterious universe.
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, communities in the past always wondered about the appearance of solar eclipses and linked
this
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phenomenon to the end of the world.
As a result
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, when examinations of
space
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is
Change the verb form
are
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developed, it will enhance humans' grapes about the world and satisfy their curiosity. It must be acknowledged that investing in
space
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exploration can help people to avoid risk from the universe.
For
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this
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reason, the universe is mysterious and contains a lot of risks
such
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as asteroids, meteors, black holes or aliens.
Therefore
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, preparing for those risks is never a waste. To illustrate
this
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, by satirising the observing the movement of the sun, scientists can predict its effects on Earth and can give quick directions to deal with problems coming from the sun
such
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as UV rate and drought. In conclusion,
although
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the exploration of
space
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is extravagant.
However
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, it can bring a lot of benefits to humans and should be maintained.
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Task Response
Ensure to present a balanced view when required by the question. If the essay prompt asks for an extent of agreement or disagreement, present and explore both sides of the argument to a certain degree before concluding with your stance.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance the linkage between ideas and paragraphs with transitional phrases that clearly indicate contrast, addition, or conclusion to improve the flow and understanding of your argument.
Task Achievement
Strengthen your argument by incorporating a wider range of specific, detailed examples. This can add depth to your essay and better illustrate your points.
General
Be cautious with typographical errors (e.g., 'satirising' instead of 'analysing') and ensure that your final essay is proofread for such errors.
Structure
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, directly addressing the essay topic.
Content
Good structuring of paragraphs with clear main ideas supported by examples, even though more detailed examples could strengthen your essay.
Task Response
You've demonstrated a clear position throughout the essay, which is good for task response.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • exorbitant
  • myriad
  • pressing issues
  • allocated
  • advances
  • direct results
  • pave the way
  • uninhabitable
  • inspirational aspects
  • fuels innovation
  • shared goal
  • intellectual capital
  • budget overruns
  • tangible benefits
  • rationale
  • dedicating
  • returns on investment
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