Using social media as Facebook, Twitter is replacing face-to-face communication im this century. Do you thing the advantages outweigh the disadvantages .ı
In today's world, communication changed. We prefer Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp etc. It started with improving technology.
Also
, it has a huge effect on our daily lives
. Some of them are positive, some of them are negative. In this
article, I will discuss my opinion. I believe, there are more positive effects rather than negative ones.
Firstly
, with 2000 ages, we started using social media. And, the millennium was the perfect time for technological development. Mark Zuckerberg was the most famous person in the world. He founded Facebook, and our lives
changed completely. All of us felt excited. Because of that platform, we used to share photos or our life memories. Also
, we used to add each other as a friend, and then
societies could play games with each other. It was amazing until the Instagram ages. Then
, people live the same things with that platform. All of these were surprising for us however
, we cut the talk with the reel person. Now, people prefer online things, like messages, online meetings, and online training. Therefore
, took us away from each other.
Secondly
, with the pandemic, all of us had to stay at home. It was a quite horrible virus. In the early days, families all over the world knew nothing. We could learn new things from online platforms. Actually, we are used to it. Thanks to Mark Zuckerberg and others. So, we overcame. A lot of students started to study online schools, workers worked remotely online. In conclusion, we stayed away from each other. Thus
, social platforms took face-to-face conversation's place. It affected our lives
in a good way.
Finally
, in my opinion, good effects are more rather than bad effects. In fact, I can say that,
it saved our Remove the comma
apply
lives
in most cases.Submitted by ecem.tekben on
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion and discusses both the advantages and disadvantages of social media, reflecting a solid understanding of the topic. However, further expanding on each point with more distinct examples could enhance clarity and impact.
coherence cohesion
You've made good use of paragraphing, with each paragraph introducing a new idea. To improve cohesion, consider using linking phrases more effectively between sentences and paragraphs. This can make the progression of your argument clearer and more persuasive.
general
To improve your essay, consider adding a conclusion that not only summarizes your main points but also explicitly restates your opinion. This strengthens your argument and provides a satisfying closure to the reader.
structure
Your essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and an implied conclusion, which aids in reader understanding.
task engagement
You effectively use personal opinions to engage with the topic, demonstrating good task engagement.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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