Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion

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There is an argument in society about earning more money and having less free time,
this
essay completely disagrees with that statement, honestly , spending more moments of a lifetime on hard work gets a high salary, but
also
it causes a stress-related which impacts ill-health.
Firstly
, high-salary jobs require more hard work and it causes some issues
as well as
stress, disease and nervous breakdown.
Moreover
, all of the disadvantages exist because of effort under mental and physical pressure,
for instance
, my dad attends to work in a hard job without taking more break time and achieving a high income , but
also
, he usually suffers anguish from pain in his body, especially, at night and,
therefore
, he cannot take a rest and sleep enough.
On the other hand
, most of the community agrees with earning less money and more free pace
as well as
I completely agree. More specifically, spending more enjoyable moments means numerous things
such
as meeting family, practising in the gym and eating at restaurants,
thus
, keeping a positive feeling of the person and reducing any hold pressure,
for instance
, my mother works as a kid teacher,
additionally
, she earns less income, but
also
she spends her free pace with us, and that makes her feel good and she looks like a happy person. All in all, after analysing both sides of the argument,
consequently
it can be concluded that more of the community wants to achieve high salaries not under any pressure and consider it better than the opposite.
Lastly
, everyone should balance between effort and enjoyment.
Submitted by x.ra5eelah on

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introduction
Make sure to clearly introduce the main topic of the essay and your opinion in the introduction for a clearer stance.
sentence structure
Use a variety of sentence structures and transitions to enhance the coherence of your paragraphs.
paragraph organization
Organize your ideas more clearly by dedicating separate paragraphs to different views, ensuring a logical flow from one idea to the next.
examples
Provide specific examples to support your points, but try to integrate them more smoothly into your argument.
conclusion
Revisit your conclusion to make sure it succinctly summarizes the arguments and clearly states your opinion.
balanced argument
You demonstrated a willingness to discuss both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view before stating your own opinion.
use of examples
You included relevant examples to support your points, enhancing the authenticity of your essay.
clear opinion
You effectively conveyed your opinion throughout the essay, making your stance clear.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • facilitating
  • lifestyle
  • professional development
  • increased stress
  • work-life balance
  • hobbies
  • quality time
  • physical and mental health
  • financial constraints
  • luxury items
  • overall well-being
  • personal growth
  • middle ground
  • sacrificing
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