Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic?

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this

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modern era,

people

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have shifted their entire

lifestyle

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due to

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various reasons. In previous times,

people

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were fit and healthier, but these days, most

people

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are more overweight than before. I believe there are multiple reasons behind

this

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condition, and it has affected

people

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in many ways. To start with, there are several reasons behind the increasing

obesity

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rates nowadays. One primary reason is that

people

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try to save cooking time by shifting their focus from healthy

food

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to fast

food

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, which is often unhealthy.

Additionally

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, after the COVID-19 pandemic, more

people

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are comfortable working remotely, which has reduced

overall

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physical activity.

For example

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people

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today are more interested in online shopping, ordering

food

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online, and playing online games rather than physically going to malls, gyms, or healthy restaurants.

Therefore

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, the acceptance of a sedentary

lifestyle

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is the primary reason behind

people

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gaining extra weight.

Furthermore

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due to

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this

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lifestyle

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, more than 50% of the youth are suffering from

obesity

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and heart diseases. Many pregnant women experience complications during delivery

due to

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their

obesity

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. Children under the age of 15 are

also

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suffering from mental health issues

due to

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the fear of being bullied for their weight.

For instance

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according to

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a survey, more than 40% of students avoid going to school

due to

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the fear of being bullied for their weight, and more than 30% of adults suffer from the same fear. In conclusion, in my opinion, suffering from

obesity

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is an outcome of a sedentary

lifestyle

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and the inclusion of fast

food

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in a regular diet.

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, the lack of physical activity has played a major role.

However

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, the effects are more dangerous, and individuals should strive to adopt a healthier

lifestyle

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to break

this

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cycle.

tirththakkar23Mon May 13 2024

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task achievement

While the essay does a commendable job in identifying the primary causes and effects of obesity, providing more specific data or citing studies can further support your points. This adds factual accuracy and strengthens your argument.

task achievement

Refrain from repeating broad ideas. Instead, delve deeper into specific subpoints. For example, discuss how the convenience of fast food chains like McDonald's contributes to the obesity epidemic.

coherence cohesion

Enhance the logical flow of ideas. Use more varied linking phrases to connect ideas more seamlessly.

coherence cohesion

The essay features a well-structured introduction and conclusion, ensuring a clear and logical progression of ideas.

task achievement

The essay effectively highlights the shift towards a sedentary lifestyle and links it to the rise in obesity rates. This shows a good grasp of the topic.

task achievement

The examples provided, such as the impact of COVID-19 on physical activity, add relevance and relatability to the essay.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

290 words

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Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic?

Companies invest millions of dollars in advertising to persuade consumers to buy their products. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages for the consumer?

The increasing trend of buying second-hand clothes and items is a positive development for society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

University students should pay the full cost of their studies because university education benefits individuals rather than society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think there are not many things individuals can do to resolve environmental problems, while the others believe that in order to tackle environmental problems individuals also need to take action. Discuss both views and give your opinion.