Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic?

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In
this
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modern era,
people
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have shifted their entire
lifestyle
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due to
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various reasons. In previous times,
people
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were fit and healthier, but these days, most
people
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are more overweight than before. I believe there are multiple reasons behind
this
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condition, and it has affected
people
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in many ways. To start with, there are several reasons behind the increasing
obesity
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rates nowadays. One primary reason is that
people
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try to save cooking time by shifting their focus from healthy
food
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to fast
food
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, which is often unhealthy.
Additionally
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, after the COVID-19 pandemic, more
people
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are comfortable working remotely, which has reduced
overall
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physical activity.
For example
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,
people
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today are more interested in online shopping, ordering
food
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online, and playing online games rather than physically going to malls, gyms, or healthy restaurants.
Therefore
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, the acceptance of a sedentary
lifestyle
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is the primary reason behind
people
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gaining extra weight.
Furthermore
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,
due to
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this
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lifestyle
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, more than 50% of the youth are suffering from
obesity
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and heart diseases. Many pregnant women experience complications during delivery
due to
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their
obesity
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. Children under the age of 15 are
also
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suffering from mental health issues
due to
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the fear of being bullied for their weight.
For instance
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,
according to
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a survey, more than 40% of students avoid going to school
due to
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the fear of being bullied for their weight, and more than 30% of adults suffer from the same fear. In conclusion, in my opinion, suffering from
obesity
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is an outcome of a sedentary
lifestyle
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and the inclusion of fast
food
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in a regular diet.
Additionally
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, the lack of physical activity has played a major role.
However
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, the effects are more dangerous, and individuals should strive to adopt a healthier
lifestyle
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to break
this
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cycle.
Submitted by tirththakkar23 on

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task achievement
While the essay does a commendable job in identifying the primary causes and effects of obesity, providing more specific data or citing studies can further support your points. This adds factual accuracy and strengthens your argument.
task achievement
Refrain from repeating broad ideas. Instead, delve deeper into specific subpoints. For example, discuss how the convenience of fast food chains like McDonald's contributes to the obesity epidemic.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow of ideas. Use more varied linking phrases to connect ideas more seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
The essay features a well-structured introduction and conclusion, ensuring a clear and logical progression of ideas.
task achievement
The essay effectively highlights the shift towards a sedentary lifestyle and links it to the rise in obesity rates. This shows a good grasp of the topic.
task achievement
The examples provided, such as the impact of COVID-19 on physical activity, add relevance and relatability to the essay.
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