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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the price of bananas in four countries between 1994 and 2004.

The graph below gives information about the price of bananas in four countries between 1994 and 2004.
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The line graph represents the price of bananas in four different countries:
Japan
Use synonyms
, France,
Germany
Use synonyms
, and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, indicated as US
dollar
Fix the agreement mistake
dollars
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 per kilogram between 1994 and 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly observed that the bananas
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
show examples
 in
Japan
Use synonyms
 and the states experienced an upward trend,
whereas
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
of in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Germany
Use synonyms
 and France underwent a downward trend during the following timeframe.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 1994, at about 1.8 was the highest sales among the other three nations, followed by France,
Germany
Use synonyms
, and America, at around 1.6, 1.4, and 0.8 US dollars per kilogram, respectively.
However
Linking Words
, it
is note
Change the verb form
is noted
show examples
 that only
Japan
Use synonyms
 reached its peak at 2.8 US dollars per kilogram in the years after before dramatically
fall
Wrong verb form
falling
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 down to its past figure,
while
Linking Words
 others
experiencing
Wrong verb form
experienced
show examples
 fluctuation
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the price.
Hence
Linking Words
, in 1998-1999, the
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
show examples
 figures
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the three countries constantly
rising
Wrong verb form
rose
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 except that
of in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 America
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 gradually
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
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. In regards
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1999
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 2004, in 2001
Japan
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
Germany
Change noun form
Germany's
show examples
 sales' figure dropped
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 1.7 and at 1.4, respectively,
whereas
Linking Words
 that of the other two
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 stable. During the first 4 years of the twentieth century, the price of
banana
Fix the agreement mistake
bananas
show examples
 in
Japan
Use synonyms
 skyrocketed
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 2.5 which outnumbered that of the other three nations.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words japan, germany with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • price fluctuation
  • steady increase/decrease
  • significant rise/drop
  • trend
  • noticeable
  • comparison
  • contrast
  • highest
  • lowest
  • throughout the period
  • stable
  • volatile
  • potential reasons
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