Nowadays, many families have both parents working. Some working parents believe other family members like grandparents can take care of their children, while others think childcare centres provide the best care. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is an ongoing debate over whether
grandparents
Use synonyms
provide the best
care
Use synonyms
when looking after the
kids
Use synonyms
or childcare
centres
Use synonyms
. Some people claim that in the daycare
centres
Use synonyms
,
youngsters
Use synonyms
can socialize with each other,
in addition
Linking Words
, caregivers there can look after the
kids
Use synonyms
better than some parents,
while
Linking Words
others firmly believe that only
grandparents
Use synonyms
can thoroughly look after the
kids
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
essay will elucidate both sides of
this
Linking Words
argument and provide a personal opinion. Nowadays, many
youngsters
Use synonyms
don't receive enough attention from their caregivers,
due to
Linking Words
them being too busy working more in pursuit of a promotion.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they send their offspring to childcare
centres
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, kindergarten is a place where
youngsters
Use synonyms
spend their day socializing and playing.
For example
Linking Words
, recent research has revealed that
kids
Use synonyms
who didn't go to daycare when they were young are socially inferior to the ones who did.
Secondly
Linking Words
, Governesses who work in these
centres
Use synonyms
are specially educated individuals who can provide the best possible
care
Use synonyms
the child can receive.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, in the day
care
Use synonyms
centers accidents are a common thing. Because for only 1 governess there are 30
youngsters
Use synonyms
with an extremely active lifestyle.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, kindergartens can be too expensive for some individuals. In situations like
this
Linking Words
parents can rely on
grandparents
Use synonyms
to look after their offspring.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the elderly have a more significant emotional connection to the
kids
Use synonyms
than mentors in kindergartens.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they are interested more in giving the best
care
Use synonyms
possible.
To conclude
Linking Words
, child
care
Use synonyms
centres
Use synonyms
can help parents to take
care
Use synonyms
of their
kids
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, there are other ways to look after them that don't require payment one
such
Linking Words
way
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
grandparents
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Consider organizing your paragraphs more clearly to enhance the flow of ideas. Make sure each paragraph has a distinct main point that relates directly to the title.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This will help to strengthen your points and make your argument more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
Clarify the conclusion by summarizing the key points you discussed. A well-rounded conclusion helps reinforce your argument.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument well and provided a personal opinion at the end, which adds depth to your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your use of vocabulary is generally good and helps convey your ideas effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • nurturing environment
  • emotional bond
  • wealth of experience
  • cultural traditions
  • socialization opportunities
  • structured environment
  • trained professionals
  • developmental needs
  • financial aspect
  • curriculum
  • academic success
What to do next:
Look at other essays: