Some people say that the feeling of competition should be encouraged in children while others say they should be taught to become cooperatative. What is your opinion?

Recently, there has been a worrying trend of increasing instances of bullying within educational institutions, accompanied by a deterioration in the
overall
situation.
This
essay aims to delve into the causes behind
this
trend and propose solutions to combat it. The complex social variables that determine peer relationships are a major contributor to bullying in
schools
.
Students
may harass others in order to demonstrate their social position or conform to perceived cultural norms, sustaining a cycle of hostility and intimidation.
Furthermore
, a lack of understanding and education about the effects of bullying might increase its frequency. Without thorough preventive programs and clear regulations,
students
may not completely comprehend the consequences of their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
or how to intervene when observing bullying events. To address the growing problem of bullying in
schools
, a multidisciplinary approach aimed at the root causes must be implemented.
This
includes creating comprehensive education and awareness initiatives that enlighten kids about the consequences of bullying
while
also
encouraging empathy and respect for others.
Schools
must
also
try to create a positive and inclusive environment in which diversity is acknowledged and all
students
feel safe and appreciated.
Furthermore
, strong anti-bullying regulations,
together with
regular enforcement and support services for both victims and perpetrators, are critical components of a comprehensive bullying prevention approach. By addressing the core causes of bullying and employing proactive intervention strategies,
schools
may create safer and more inclusive settings that support the well-being of all children To summarize, tackling the growth of bullying in
schools
demands a concerted effort. We can make
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
safer and more inclusive for all
students
by introducing preventative measures, creating supportive settings, and assisting those who have been harmed.
Submitted by gautopsoi368 on

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task achievement
You have provided a thorough exploration of the causes and solutions to bullying in schools, which meets the task requirements well. To make your task response even stronger, consider incorporating more specific examples, such as real-world case studies or statistical evidence, to clearly illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a logical structure, and your ideas are mostly well-organized. To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next. Including more transition phrases can better link your ideas together, making the overall argument more fluid.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effective in summarizing your main points. To further improve the conclusion, consider restating the importance of the issue and the impact of your proposed solutions in a compelling way.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the issue of bullying and offers viable solutions, showing good task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The overall logical structure of your essay is commendable, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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